Hi! My Name Is: Please Validate Me With Your Attention

Television, specifically reality television, has created a monster.  Suddenly everybody feels they need to be famous?  There’s a reason, Sir Douche MacBaggin’s of Hollister (no matter how popped that collar is) that you’re not; because you have no outstanding fucking talent.  Don’t be sad, you just have to work a regular job like the rest of us mediocre folk.  It’s been that way since the dawning of mankind, everyone wants to be more widely influential than they are probably destined to be.  All the while these people with enthusiastic, yet shallow, aspirations alienate themselves acting pretentiously to the point no one really likes them.

Well, that was the cold hard facts, but fortunately I have a loophole, take heed to my admirable advice….

Now ladies, you mean to tell me you aspire to be filmed drinking and being overtly slutty with strangers to fulfill your desperate need for attention is REALLY validating? Sure it is!  Example;  mom of the year dancing onstage drunk beyond oblivion while the crowd can see her panties and ruggedly worn “lady” parts will in no way have a negative effect on her child. Her daughter will always know how smart mom is for starring in a video on You Tube.

Why do this? Well, like the you, it’s easy.  Do not waste the time to educate yourself so that you are an interesting person to talk to.  No one cares about the economy, religion, philosophy, or politics. Well no one cares that is significantly fucking cool (excuse me I mean: Rly effin’ kool). It’s easier to wear a short skirt and it’s fun to degrade yourself with lewd behavior! Anyone can knock a few alcoholic beverages back because let’s face it people are only interesting when they drink, so make sure you drink the most. I mean guys definitely form meaningful relationships with a girl who puts out after some Screwdrivers and insincere ego boosting compliments.  While you landed prince charming, everyone else who happened to see you at the bar is so impressed by you. They wonder how THEY can know such an amazing, inspiring person themselves.

Hey, post some more cleavage shots on Facebook because that will tell everyone you are self confident and in no way seeking any form of attention. Everyone knows you really think you are as attractive as you say you are.  Make sure your status updates offer too much personal information or even blog about it because EVERYONE in the entire country cares about your specific problems that you bring upon yourself.  I mean, really, everyone cares about you as a person (though you lack any discernible talents). There is no doubt  we ALL must know who you are.

Reach for the stars, because lucky for you, your need to lash out due to a deeper desire for acceptance will award you your 15 minutes.  Your thinly veiled confidence is just as alluring as your whiskey/vomit breath.

8 responses to “Hi! My Name Is: Please Validate Me With Your Attention

  1. Appreciate it for this post, I am a big big fan of this internet site would like to keep updated.

  2. you are the funniest person we have found here, so glad that you decided to read our blog. The Kat & Mike Road Show love your blog. BTW the very famous Cousin Brucie from Sirius ch6 gave us that moniker and we love him, he is the person along with Ed Sullivan that introduced the Beatles in 1966 at Shea Stadium, and he has been broadcasting doo wop and rock n roll since 1959, if you care? If you lived here near us we all would have so much fun, because unlike our blog here, we are very sarcastic like you. But, we live in South Dakota and they do not understand sarcasm, and look at us like deer in headlights when we use it. And we get to use it often. Again you write very well and it is a pleasure to read your post. Thanks

  3. Check your first paragraph:
    “you just have to work a regular job the the rest of us mediocre folk.”

    Sincerely,
    Typo monster
    (fiendish laughter)

  4. Otherwise, very entertaining post.

  5. Very entertaining.Consider yourself validated.

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