image: squidoo.com
Women, there is no possible way you want to be alone, right? Do you want a big strong man to come and fill you full of babies? How passionately do you long for a penis having jerk bag of your very own? Well, I have decided to use my own expertise in relationships to help you. Not that I have successful relationships but none the less, I have solid and useful advice (you should not be not using ever always). I have provided two examples of what may seem to be cause for trepidation, but in fact should be a complimentary quality you should indeed look for:
RED FLAG #1
He has cheated in EVERY past relationship:
image: fyi-spy.com
You have somehow received this tidbit most likely from him because cheaters are honest and forthcoming. Alright, so where does that concern you? Not at all proceed without caution! You are different and can convince him to be faithful just by being you (you’re that special, I mean it, like, reach for the stars special). Guaranteed, you have the total package and more than enough to offer to curb such behavior. Don’t worry about such silly things! Make sure you invest too much emotion,you won’t ever find yourself bitterly disappointed. Go girl, I give this a big thumbs up.
RED FLAG #2
His ex-girlfriends and/or wives absolutely hate him…all of them
image: currybear.com
What are haters gonna do? Hate! Especially playa hate! They are only mad because this guy is not emotionally, physically and romantically available to them. Why else would every woman this guy knows have such hostile resentment towards said Prince fucking Charming? Only total psychopaths. He will no doubt divulge you in their lack of mental stability and what are the odds that every ex he has is legitimately bat shit crazy; highly likely. Seriously, a thorough analysis by several professionals conclude that precise diagnosis: bat shit crazy. Don’t listen to those “hos” they just want what you have, they are sooooenvious.
image: break.com
Alright, well, mingle and meet the man of your dreams. I have provided a compass and you have your heart as well for guidance. Go ahead and thank me now, you won’t have to later.
I wish you the best, and remember caution is only for stop lights okay?
Sheena
Fantatsic Love it. Now how do i explain to someone that they are not reach for the stars special…..
Thank you and I think perhaps routine name calling and violence? A firm open handed slap across the mouth should be the cure? I think it is so
LOL
Ummm… can you write from the boys perspective? please? Im not a girl. Still some of the best advice I got was, “Don’t put your dick in crazy.” its pretty sage advice.
I will channel my inner man, I suppose, and attempt such a blog. I don’t however think it will be so full of conviction and definitive opinion.
What if all of his ex’s still love the guy? Is that still a warning sign? Not that this particular instance applies to me.
That may be a warning sign too, but I don’t think this has happened to anyone…ever!
Some cheaters are honest… Just tell how it is and women still want them …. Crazy!
Yeah this is true as well, these women of course accept the loser nonetheless. It shouldn’t come as a surprise when shit hits the fan anyways
Wow… Dr. Ruth! Back in the day, I used to get high and LMAO watching Dr. Ruth! (chuckling right now just thinking about it) But do ya know what I found the most disturbing here? I have that exact same tie in your photo – but NOT the matching collar! No, really! Nope, never had a collar like that, not once ever! Well okay; except for one night, and one night only… when my wife was drunk and her kiss kinda missed. Lol – but that doesn’t count, right?
Nope, that would not count, Dr Ruth is pretty awesome
Less hot Dr. Ruth? Maybe minus the German accent. Your advice is so much more sound than hers. Which makes you hotter.
Red flags are what I look for in a good woman. I mean, how are you supposed to find the right one if they’re not flying flags for you to see?
Well I dunno about women flying red flags, but I saw this chick last summer flying a red bra and panties from her car antenna, and now THAT was definitely sending a message! Lol
ha ha you are silly! <3
Hmmm good point, I would like a German accent, I think it would give everything I say authority. awesome. I don’t look for red flags I OVERLOOK red flags ha ha ha!
You just ain’t right ! I love it
I am smart!
Psychotic women can be fun to date, but I draw the line at ones who light random fires: it’s a pain in the ass having to abandon your mushroom linguine because your date has set fire to the tablecloth.
I HATE it when that happens!!!
Nothing ruins a dinner like a structure fire, but you know she’ll always be in touch b/c she’s looking in your windows. That’s gotta be convenient!
Absolutely: it’s the ultimate back-up plan if you are struggling to find a date at 5:00pm on a Saturday afternoon.
You’re way hotter than Dr. Ruth. Now, I mean. Not in her prime! No, not then. If I took your dating advice, I think I would be gay. Because I’m a dude! But if I was a woman, I’d be to like OMG and fir rills and junk to like read like words and stuff, you know? so like i’d be all glad and stuff that yr their to tale me how to daet and meet a boi and love him and have babys and that.
But I’m not, so… useless! Still a good post, for a girl.I hope that didn’t sound as sexist as I meant it to.
It was delightful and yes I don’t even compare to hot ass Ruth is her prime no way. I hope I helped many young ladies reach for the stars!
So true it’s scary.
Yep and us women will never realize you can’t change an asshole
One more red flag/requirement:
He really must have no visible means of financial support. Any man worth having is one you’ll have to pay for.
Oh my gosh you know what? that is good! I didn’t want to make my blog too terribly long and lose people’s attention but that one is a good one
Maybe I should do installments?
Yes. No typos in this one. Monster sad. Try again.
I put that grammatically incorrect sentence in parenthesis. It was full of double negatives and such! It was on purpose but I had you in mind
I always thought hating X’s was therapeutic ?
Perhaps keying their car is too? Hmmmm.
Well in the men’s defense there are a whole lot of bat shit crazy women in the world.
OH of course there really are but there is something to be said about a man who has a legion of them as ex’s hellbent on making his life miserable. Nice guys generally don’t have that many crazy exs
Funny read
quite true too though.
Unfortunately it is indeed but thank you
when poverty enters the front door
love exits out the back door
so simply, women should find a man with good work ethics
not a lazy loathe who bounces around like a bunny…
well said
This was hilarious!
Thank you
Wow! I might be Dr. Ruth too.
Ha ha ha, our advice is invaluable!
Well I was ignoring the awesome texts coming in telling me why I should get outta bed at 1am for a booty call, i mean ummm to hang out & talk about our hopes & dreams, but I was sitting here thinking he will never change… There was a single tear & I was listening to the same cure song over & over… Now though I am up & grabbing my skanky skivvies! I AM SPECIAL!
thank you for the wisdom 
gotta go!!!!!
I am so glad I could be of help, you are only as important as a boy tells you that you are!