Perhaps the weather has stifled my creativity? Winter has a way of making me wish my species could in fact hibernate as well. Even better than hibernation, turn into a bad ass statue that come to life after thousands of years! Instead of a rant perhaps an embarrassing childhood story about myself will lighten not only my mood but yours too…qouth the raven “Nevermore!”
The setting is Baycliff, Texas (The stars at night, are big and bright clap clap clap…ah forget it). Imagine five-year old me. I look the same, but with a younger more smug, content little asshole look on my face. My neighbor who lives one house down from me is my playmate. Imagine another five-year old that happens to be a mouth breather as well.
Her house has a ladder that is attached to the back porch and will take you directly on to the roof. Perhaps it was installed for Santa’s convenience? I don’t know why this dangerous situation was readily available to young children but hey, it’s the 80′s. I mean people watched Alf for entertainment, enough said. We climb up only to discover a solitary loose shingle. I throw it into the next door neighbor’s pool. A light bulb goes off. What a fun game! Let OPERATION THROW SHIT IN THE POOL commence! To make it more fun we kept score of a direct hit or ya know, shingles in the pool. Of course for ammo we had to rip the other shingles up.
Might I remind you I am five and this was fun, albeit totally destructive, it was a gay (as in happy) time to be had! The next day however my mom was not so gay. She was pissed. I had to go over and apologize for being a winner of the shingle toss and a loser of common sense.
I wonder if my neighbor’s parents wanted to kill me? I’m pretty sure they hated my face from that moment on and every time they hear “Sugar Walls” by Sheena Easton (yep, my name sake) do they want to punch things? I know for a fact it was not cheap repairing the damage, and I think my parents forked over some money to say…sorry my kid’s a barf princess cootie collector.
I miss childhood, I can’t believe what one can get away with and not get arrested. I miss Texas because it’s cold and raining in Tennessee…and I miss summer. I hope you had a good laugh I did when this memory surfaced. Now, for a metaphorical middle finger to Seasonal Affective Disorder. Yep, I went there.