See Spot. See Spot Die. See Spot Regenerate.

Today’s topic; pet animal cloning. At first I was discussing this with a friend in order devise a shiesty get rich quick scheme. The idea was to open a “cloning agency”, claim to clone the animals but just get a dog that looks similar to the original. Since cloning is not an exact duplicate, some physical characteristics are expected to be different. We charge a crap load of money, spend about $150 at the pound, and collect the profit. If you haven’t read my previous wealth enhancing future plans you need to do so now, there’s the link, did you click on it?! Why are you reading this?…..My sigh of exasperation is quite audible at this moment. Read:

My New Get Rich Quick Schemes

Pet Cloning is basically this: Viable live tissue is extracted from a living animal or freshly dead animal (sorry no living dead animals). The tissue is manipulated all scientifically and Merlin like. Here I imagine the cloned cells dancing around to 20′s swing music as they happily multiply each other.  Who doesn’t want to see their own mitosis process do the Charleston right? Boring stuff, boring stuff, and then the pet’s clone is implanted into the womb of another mammal.

I found all this vague and yet undoubtedly true information here:

My Friend Again- Dog Cloning Services

In Korea it's trendy to clone things thus you can also be on "Fashion" magazine

The guy on the left claims to offer such services and this dog is indeed a clone. This includes a biopsy kit for $1,500 (to extract live tissue for cloning), tissue storage $150 a year and freakish cloning of animal for $100,000.

I am emphatically certain the legitimacy of this website and services offered. So certain I am going to investigate this further. I don’t have a dog but I think my mom wouldn’t mind if I offer her Pomeranian up for cloning. Why she would want a second one, I don’t know. This dog barks at people when they stand up. So the minute you feel compelled to do, well, anything she is yapping. Why pet owners tolerate the things they do is beyond me. Let granny do that shit and she’s in the home before the next sundowners episode.

I decided to contact this fellow via e-mail :

Pom Clone

Sheena Smith	9:20 AM (0 minutes ago)
to wolf.usa

Greetings Friend,

I stumbled upon your site while on a quest to clone my mother’s dog Angel. She’s a Pomeranian. I don’t love her, but my mom sure does! She even let’s the dog give her open mouth kisses. I mean to letting a dog lick your mouth is indicative of real pet love. Okay, so I have extra questions about the cloning:

1. Can the wizards at your laboratory put the clone fetus in me? First, I want to give birth to a different species, and I imagine a small dog would be more simple than say…a Grizzly Bear. I cannot imagine a larger expression of love to my mother than to birth her dog clone. 

2. Can the wizards clone a body part of a human? Perhaps only a human hand? I have always like “Thing” on Adams family and can imagine how helpful a disembodied hand creeping around my apartment would be. I mean for multiple occasions *hint *hint. 

3. Can I pick and choose the clone’s powers? Like on video games you can pick different powers for your character and at varied levels (speed, strength, endurance, etc.) so like could I pick the ability to “not shit where people walk” and “shut up barking when I yell at you”?

Well, I hope you can answer my questions. I plan on ordering a biopsy kit soon, which leads me to only one more question:

4. Do I have to go to the vet? I dye my hair at home and it turns out okay, I’m pretty sure I can do this too. 

Any information you may be able to provide would be orgasmic. Thank you, and have a super fantastic day!

                                                                                                                                                       

                                                                                                                                                             

I will keep you all posted on any return correspondence. I may go ahead and get the ball rolling on this. I think I’ll collect some tissue from my mom’s dog and keep it in the fridge until I hear back from this dude.

Also, I either caught a “Fail” or dogs really work in the laboratory.

The caption to this picture (below) on the website reads:

“Here is a picture of me with one of the cloning scientists”