What’s more disappointing than a fight that doesn’t climax into blood shed, bone breakage and destruction? A girl fight. Specifically, a reality TV girl fight. For whatever reason, this is gaining in popularity, while adversely being the number one channel changing factor in my television viewing.
wait for it….wait for it….wait for it….wait for it….wait for it….
I happened to watch The Bad Girls Club on America’s most accidentally watched channel: Oxygen. Oxygen is trying to be a trendier Lifetime Network. While at any given time on Lifetime you can watch a movie about an evil man (with a penis) stalk a cervical cancer patient who is a successful attorney with an abducted daughter that may or may not be a psychic medium haunted by the ghosts of murdered sorority girls (who are bullied on-line). You think I am being sarcastic I’m not, turn your TV to lifetime, if it’s not a Poise commercial, it’s going be what I described. Tori Spelling may or may not be in this one, when she’s not Kirk Cameron plays the heroine. Yep, he does, he plays the women in Lifetime movies. I don’t make the rules. I obey them.
Now back to Bad Girls Club and shows like it. Following the success of Jersey Shore, it seems like there are more reality shows that showcase dumb girls. I don’t particularly take offense as a woman, we all know reality TV is scripted and just for ratings. Plus, I should be fetching beer and getting pregnant right? Yeah, sounds about right.
Thankfully, my IUD turns my uterus into the final round of American Gladiators for my eggs. Blaze and Ice kicking ass, taking no prisoners…then making out.
My biggest beef with reality TV is the arguing that goes nowhere. I am not sure what producer decided an uneventful shouting match would efficiently fill air time. I hate shouting matches anywhere really, and maybe that’s why I hate it on TV. I’m about action, don’t talk about fighting, get to it. I want to see someone actually bust someone in the mouth not deliberate on it for ten minutes until “security” breaks it up. These people might as well say, “Hey, we’re not really going to fight, just yell alot, don’t waste your time gathering. If security could go ahead and get in between us as we continue to yell but passively allow ourselves to be escorted away that would be pretty cool too.”
“Liar Liar pants on fire!”
The Bad Girls club is the biggest offender of this. Here’s how the show goes:
skank 1: “I’m gonna pop off up in here and go crazy on you bitches!”
skank 2: “I’m drunk and mad, I’m going to yell really loud and not wear panties! I’m about to go crazy!”
skank 3: “I like to yell! Who is not aware I’m a badass? Why am I mad? I don’t remember! Guys think drunk girls are sexy, where are my panties?! Who wants to throw this bitch’s mattress in the pool? I’m about to go crazy!”
Bikinis or nudity is mandatory “One of us, One of us”
That is a summary of the show, if you have DVR, you can play the show at any moment and that’s exactly what’s happening. They additionally like to mention that they are “crazy” or “going to go crazy” as if psychosis has ample warning. Plus if there is an actual fight it will involve a lot of hair pulling, yawn, and then play by play account (and even Joe Rogan can’t make it seem awesome).
Joe Rogan tells Kellogs to fuck off
I’m just saying, when people for serious go crazy they lash out, and do not provide warning. Even if you have an intuitive and let’s face weird ass kid, you don’t get much preparation for the crazy.
Ha! Surprise!
Yeah like that! You know, I’ll just rent a pay-per-view instead.
Sheena
