About

My talents vary; I paint, draw, wiggle my ears, hold my breath underwater, contact the dead in the spirit world by e-mail, oh yeah and I write this flippin’ awesome blog. My only goal here is for you enjoy everything you read and learn absolutely nothing.

Everything is written with sarcasm and meant to be taken lightly. That being said should you take offense, you’re a wiener, and your mama. In the event you read and love my blog just remember sharing, liking, and even commenting is like an online hug from you to me. Like a platonic hug, the okay kind, tell an adult.

wpid-90s-danzig.jpeg

Meowaaaalllllooooovvvveeee this blooooooggggg!

Danzig approved.

137 responses to “About

  1. Be prepared to have a spiritual awakening that rocks each chakra…or at least be entertained enough by the fact that i did not put pictures of my junior hypster children possibly named Madison or Dakota…Emma…or any douchtastic name of the sorts (Chason….that’s another one to loathe). Also you may be pleased to find that I don’t call food anything other than food (the word “nosh” makes me homicidal), I spell words out and damn me to hell if I use lmafo or lol…or brb. I simply hate Nancy Grace her voice makes my brain hemmorhage and I have mini seizures. Why the hell is she so defensive? I am at heart nice and generous…oh wait no…I am a misanthrope, I hate people, I don’t wish them harm but I love to make fun of them. Should that seem mean to you…remeber someone is probably making fun of you right now. Yes, you. I guess what I am getting at is enjoy these posts for what they are, the opinion of some jerk who thinks they are funny. Don’t get all offended, it’s meant to be taken lightly and simply enjoyed or hated it’s all good.

    • hahaha. Enjoyed this greatly. Not a fan of nancy grace at all nor hipsters in general, and being a misanthrope does a great service to the world. Some might even call it a sweet and simple justice done for humanity. :-)

    • One thing my mom always said: “If you can’t laugh at yourself, find somebody else tolaugh at.”

      I’ve never been accused of being a nice guy (at least not once someone really gets to know me) but I do think you’re pretty funny. I’m enjoying your blog and your…. der umm uh… unusual views. ;)

    • What the hell is up with that “Nosh” crap? Food is food, that is all.
      I’m enjoying your blog but there is a lot of posts so will have to sit down on a rainy night (Not uncommon this summer in New Zealand :-/ ) and polish them off.

      Matt

      • That is loser speak for food, people trying too hard to sound cool. Well, I suppose you will have plenty to read on a rainy day, and thanks for stopping by :)

  2. Thank you, I really appreciate your in your face, tell it like you see it approach. I also agree what the hell is up with Nancy Grace, in my humble opinion she is one short step away from becoming a douche canoe……..

  3. I’ve nominated your blog for a Versatile Blogger Award, which means that I find it as amusing as hell. Thanks for keeping me entertained!

    Click back onto The Dissemination of Thought to find out what the award is all about.

  4. Hey, thanks for following and for being so unapologetically funny. That rocks.

    You are going to make me do a Nancy Grace post now. OMG. kidding. Hate that.

  5. Heh. OK, you earn a “follow” if only because you properly used the word misanthrope. Success!

  6. Thanks for being brave enough to look at and “like” the Sugar Plump Fairy! :-)

  7. I nominated your blog for the 7×7 Link Award. Whoo hoo! Or maybe you’ve had it before so it’s not that exciting. Visit http://solomonian.wordpress.com/2011/12/29/winners-wear-kittens-as-house-slippers/ to see you what this awesome and obligatory process consists of.

  8. Ok I read you and I’m still laughing. Plus I’m learning new words- fucktard is going in the spellcheck dictionary…

  9. very enjoyable. warmest wishes. lonely m xx

  10. Hello friend,

    Thank you for taking the time to read my post. Love your site, nice work.

    -Peace

  11. Nancy Grace is a shrill b***h. I automatically like you.

  12. You had me with “sleep with total strangers” but you lost me just as fast with “get impregnated easily” And of course you know I’m just kidding, cause you’ve still got me, and I get you, and you get me too. And now that’s just a happy kind of accident! :-)

  13. Girl, you so crazy. I be followin yo blog!

    I’m not sure where that came from. Sorry. It must be stopped in our lifetime. Won’t you please help?

  14. “I can’t see me laughin’ at nobody but you for all my life…” and that’s what just came to my mind, but I think I might’ve gotten one of the words wrong. Lol ;-)

  15. Hey, it was one of my favorite songs on the radio when it first came out – which just proves that I’m old enough to be your dad! Lol ;-) But I’m also very young in spirit, or very immature – depending on who you ask, and how much I’ve been buggin’ ‘em on any given day. :-)

    Thanks for putting me on your blog roll! You may have noticed that you’re also on mine. Have a great day, and I’ll see ya around.

  16. Eye opening and amusing.

  17. Zapple recommended on his versatile award, love your style….followed.

  18. Very good blog!!! From one blogger to another :-)

  19. I figured out what <3 means… It's a heart. I googled the correct answer on the second try. (I was feeling a little out of the loop for not understanding…you kids and your crazy ways).

  20. You have been hereby nominated for the Kreativ Blogger Award! Congratulations! I like your blog and hope others will find it just as great as I do! To find out what this actually entails, just go http://midliferanting.wordpress.com/2012/01/05/id-like-to-thank-the-academy-my-mum-and-tdot/

  21. So, here is my online hug for you! Love the sarcasm and can’t wait to see a video with you wiggling your ear!!! :)
    p.s.: I have no idea who Nancy Grace is (I guess yeeaay for me) and I am a misanthrope, so salute to you :)

  22. sleeping with total strangers is such a buzzkill knowing how easy it is to pop out babies like Pez. maybe they’ll come out with candy, which won’t be so bad then. plus the random sex. makes me feel like singing a song w/ Akon

    PS: WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS AIR-PRESSURE RELEASE NOISE I KEEP HEARING OUTSIDE MY APARTMENT? I hope somebody’s tires are getting slashed… there must be a lot of tires.
    PSS: wellllll i’m an asshole. turns out that noise is an ambulance picking somebody up next door hahaha.

    • I can distinctly hear your neighborly concern… I for real had my tire one of them slashed. I don’t think it was on purpose…like mistaken identity. Who would do that to me? ME! It could have been the dude from No Country For OLd Men out there, you know he had that high pressure air thingy…he dropped your whole apt complex. Well ya know pregnancy is no biggie another gov’ment check fool!

  23. I pingbacked your award. (screw you red line, it’s a word). So go look, already! http://wp.me/p1CLmE-Ay

  24. sarcasm is the sincerest form of battery. you go girl. continue…

  25. sheena, thanks for the sub…but baying at the moon is my now DEFUNCT site…everything is at Barking in the Dark…i hope you sub there. and u r one funny chick. continue…

  26. Thanks so much! You are an incredibly rad chick and it makes me happy to know there are really amazing, ultra funny, sweet girls like you in this world! you’re not too far away to make a trip to GSO for a new tattoo! Come see me any time and Ill take care of ya!

    • Oh wow thank you thank you! I’m not against a road trip for incredible work! *sigh* Someday….it has been far too long since my last tattoo! It’s all good i’ll rob some “suckas” and I’ll be on my way :)

  27. Cheers for the follow!

    I already am addicted to your writing voice, it is quite fantastic! Loved the absolute destruction of a certain Mark Wahlberg… Great stuff, love it.

  28. Ah it’s refreshing to see somebody else who writes as well as practices the rare talent of wriggling her ears. Bravo!

    • Much thanks, I am pretty sure I should post a video so ppl believe me. I know, I know, it seems ludicrous, but it’s my most notable talent thus far in life.

  29. I gave up irony and sarcasm in my town a while ago as I was the only practitioner.

    After reading your fine blog , I think I’ll take it up again.

    Enjoyed your posts immensely. Well done.

    Jim
    http://vermontverse.wordpress.com

  30. Because I adore your blog I have nominated you for 2 awards. The Versatile Blogger Award and the 7X7 Link Award.

    You can accept these awards by meeting the requirements on my post http://wildgeesethatfly.com/2012/01/29/and-the-award-goes-to/

    Congratulations!

    Jeny

  31. It’s people like you that cause me to lose faith in myself. Not because you’re bad, obviously.
    It’s the simple fact that you just so happen to be a lot better than me.
    Like, A LOT, a lot.
    I don’t resent you, no no, but I am just going to say that if I have your blog up in a tab next to mine, and if I flip back and forth…
    I will realize what a crappy writer I am.
    Anywhoo, keep up the awesome (and hilarious) work. <3 Mylifeinheartbeats

  32. Good bloggin’!! Solid work!

  33. spreading that hippy blog love (but without as many of the diseases and tangled, unwashed hair) of providing you with possibly another Versatile Blogger Award
    http://forbettergenius.wordpress.com/2012/02/01/versatile-liebster-blog-awards/
    if this is your first time, it’ll only bleed a little, then you’ll want more

  34. Hi,
    I’ve nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award. Check my post http://richfulllife.wordpress.com/2012/02/01/i-may-never-get-freshly-pressed-but-my-sarcastic-gift-has-been-recognized/ if you don’t already know the rules. Participate if you feel like it, or if you haven’t already received this award from someone else. I like your blog, and figured I’d let you know this way. If ya didn’t know, now ya know.
    RFL

  35. I’m sort of jealous of your outstanding article headlines. But just sorta.
    – Jordan

  36. Congratulations Sheena, i’ve nominated your blog for an ABC Award. It may involve a little work but hey, nothing is free any more is it!

    You know the drill: go to http://midliferanting.wordpress.com/2012/02/07/abc-123-abc/ to check out what I’m talking about!

  37. Hi Sheena, thank you so much for following my blog :)

  38. Oh, Sheena! How I’d love for my blog to be included in your blogroll. You are so fascinating and beautiful and I’m certain that your readers are, too. I’m hopeful that they would love to assist me in my ongoing self-therapy. Won’t you please consider adding http://www.DiatribesAndOvations.com to your blog roll? I’ll be happy to share my cyber therapists with you, too!

  39. Hahaha, this sounds like the best virtual self-introduction I’ve ever read. If there was an award on this, you surely would be a strong contender! :-)

    Subhan Zein

  40. Thanks for bringing a little sunshine to the world with your creativity. I’m nominating you for the Sunshine Award: http://warriorpoetwisdom.com/2012/02/27/sunshine-award/
    Peace & grace,
    ~Miro

  41. Pingback: Versatile Blogger Award…(say my thank you’s) « Toast A Day

  42. I think by now you must have already been nominated for this, but still, I have you on my list for the Versatile Blogger Award :-)

    http://toastaday.wordpress.com/2012/03/01/versatile-blogger-award-say-my-thank-yous/

    Cheers!

    • Hey thank you so much for reading and mentioning, I have been busy and I just got to reaidn all messages. I am going to address it next, I got a couple so I was going to combine? I have been busy, not a lot of time to do it, but it didn’t go unappreciated to say the least I am honored you like my blog :) I love yours as well have good day:)

  43. thank god, someone else who speaks my language.

  44. Congratulations! I’ve nominated you for the The Versatile Blogger Award! Thanks for all of your awesome posts! I <3 your blog

    You can get the details here:
    http://sorryiamnotsorry.com/2012/03/15/officially-legit-i-won-the-versatile-blogger-award/#comments

  45. Thank you, I really appreciate your in your face,and awesome

  46. lovely…hmmm I need a perky bio. lol. Nice to meet you.

  47. You had me at “sleep with total strangers” but then I got to “impregnated easily”. Hmm, pro or con?

  48. {…}You had me at “sleep with total strangers” but then I got to “impregnated easily”. Hmm, pro or con?{…}

    Sounds like a sales pitch for vasectomies, or as the Germans call ‘em ‘der weinerschnipzel’

  49. Love your sarcasm. They say that ‘sarcasm is the lowest form of wit’. Fuck em. And once we’ve finished taking the piss out of ourselves we have no choice but to start in on others…all in good fun and bad taste of course!

  50. Rock on with the fresh pressed, you.
    I’ve already registered my opinions on cats, so no need to go back there.

  51. “My only goal here is for you enjoy everything you read and learn absolutely nothing.” Between that line and your post about cats, you’ve convinced me that I should follow you.

  52. Pingback: Happy One Month! | life in a nutshell

  53. Thanks for following Sheena. Glad you like the blog!!

  54. Hi Sheena! I tagged you in a blog question-and-answer game! If you want to play, visit my blog to see what to do! (I’m sure you already saw that you were tagged, but just in case…)

  55. Hi …
    Greeting, permit to visit..
    lovely blog and
    lovely smile you have. ;-)

  56. Hi there! Thanks for following my blog :) Just wanted to drop a quick note and let you know that I have moved over to wordpress.org, so to continue receiving updates, you may have to sign up via email or RSS at http://ringfingertanline.com
    Confusing, I know… but worth it ;)

    Also, I love your sense of humor. I believe we’d get along well.

  57. I love this blog! And coincidentally I have also nominated you for the Sunshine Award, which was sent to me by the boy above (I didn’t realise he’d already nominated you until I came here to comment – what a div!).

    https://bugwear.wordpress.com/2012/04/08/hello-sunshine-my-first-blogger-award/

    Bug @ Bugwear

  58. I wrote a blog about your blog. Sorry, I forgot to mention that we have similar glasses.

  59. Hey there. I nominated you for the versatile blogger award because you rock and I think you have too much time on your hands. It’s a bit of work, should you accept, but it’s fun to do.

    http://playingwithwordsisfun.wordpress.com/2012/04/27/1603/

  60. Pingback: It’s Like Herding Bloggers « Someone Fat Happened

  61. A part of me kind of likes when Nancy Grace is on, just to watch the face of the other legal commentator who clearly loathes her. (Schadenfreude)
    Thanks for the follow! I dig the sarcastic humor.

    • I like how she is so stern, it scares me and humors me. I don’t think many ppl just love her…shes scary aggresive! ha ha. Thanks!

  62. haha “should you take offense, you’re a weiner” that’s the attitude blogging should be all about, looking forward to your posts! :)

  63. I like this line from your blog about me page I think I am going to use it for mine: In the event you read and love my blog just remember sharing, liking, and even commenting is like an online hug from you to me.

  64. Pingback: A Clown on Facebook | A Clown On Fire

  65. Sheena,
    It took me a long time finally getting here. Le Clown is a douche, but he’s here to stay.
    Le Clown

  66. ashleypatterson21

    Oh sheena! I have commented here before but i just wanted to say, you rock! so much!!!!!! and i just discovered you have a baby :P how cute!!!!

    • Oh thank you, he’s sort of a baby, he’s five :) He’s my baby always. Thanks! I put you on my blogroll I do believe

      • ashleypatterson21

        I am still new here, what’s blogroll :P and man! i am actually getting excited discovering mothers in my blog list because… oh my fiance he wants a baby in the first year of our wedding and I am just so scared 22 seems just so young :P and i am scared my life would come an end but looking at how you still maintain to be awesome, i am thinking i have got some hope :P

  67. Pingback: Versatile Blogger Award…(say my thank you’s) « JoyBound…

  68. Hey, Sheena! Guess what? Tag! You’re it! I’ve nominated you for the Very Inspiring Blogger Award. Bwa ha ha ha ha! http://hollybernabe.wordpress.com/2012/07/18/inpirational-blogger-award/

  69. yayyy. I like you. You got spice! This is a good thing!

  70. Pingback: Dedication… to the women of WordPress « Normal Deviations

  71. Hi, I know it’s late but I nominated you for the “Blog Of The Year” award. Check it out:
    http://writersfield.wordpress.com/2013/01/04/blog-of-the-year-2012-award/

  72. Well, hello. I enjoyed your post about poop very much, and then I came here to see that you used the word wiener in your about me. Wieners and poop. Sounds like my kinda blog. Anyway, funny stuff. I anxiously await what word you will use next (please be boner; boner is a hilarious word.)

  73. I miss your Facehookin’ blog, Sheena. You are hilarious. Or should I use “text speak”? “Ur” hilarious. That’s right–er hilarious, Sheena.

    • Thank you! I just haven’t found the time to blog. I’m really hoping to get to it soon again. I started a different job and maybe it won’t be a black void of soul sucking ridiculous hours every week. Seriously, my blogging stopped when my average workday turned into about fourteen hours. Anypoop, I’m hoping to come back to the blog world. I miss it and everyone I would message with!

      Sent from Windows Mail

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