N.W.A. Had it All Wrong

I get my feelings hurt on a personal level when I hear people talk bad about the police. Okay, so you mean to tell me that everyone is able to respond to a call where there is a report of gunshots, and just anyone is actually going to go in. It’s not possible. I know that I am too scared, if I pull up to my house and it appears an intruder is inside, I am going to dial 911. I will not charge the place with a weapon of any sort. I could have a cannon at my disposal and I am not going in. I am grateful there is someone to do that for me.

Not only is there all the serious stuff these men and women deal with, how about the majority of calls police respond to; stupid people. We have all seen COPS. The police have to respond to a fight between a homeless man living in his car at a biker bar and a seven-year old boy with an unfortunately severe overbite because the kid threw bottle rockets in his  driver side window. We have all seen the crackhead who calls the police because they just got swindled out of ten bucks while they were, get this, selling drugs. These idiots are on every episode and of course, they’re hilarious. I can turn the show off and not deal with these issues when they get annoying but the cops have to get involved in conflicts like these all day, every day.

The people that hate them call them first for issues they could probably work out on their own had they not cooked breakfast on a spoon one too many times, decimating brain cells and coping abilities. You don’t criticize the cops when they arrest the guy robbing houses in your neighborhood but you want to get pissed when they write that speeding ticket, you know, when you broke the law speeding. Why do people feel the need to project anger that should be directed at themselves on the people who maintain order and peace?

Now with all that ranting, I want to say that I really love dirty cops. I would sleep better at night knowing that some pervert exposing himself at a gas station pump in front of me is going to get kicked right in the balls before he goes to jail. I hope that cops do take drug money from that turd ass drug dealers, they should, because the government just doesn’t pay them enough. If the cop breaks the nose of a fifteen year old boy who is stealing an iPhone good on him that kid needs to think twice about taking things he didn’t work for. Admittedly I am not altogether offended if I can “get out of this ticket” if you know what I mean, just saying (uniforms are hot!).

Being that vigilante justice is illegal, dirty cops are the next best thing. Unfortunately, the town’s people cannot gather into a mob and hang the criminals. Every time a cop takes it upon himself to use excessive force on that nonconformist jerk that won’t just shut up and cuff up it makes my heart sing. It makes it a little better that I can’t carry a torch and pitchfork through the streets and kill me a varmint myself. Honesty and integrity is overrated, the clientele that is usually subjected to “police brutality” fits a general demographic of people who deserve it.

So what I am saying is if you’re an ethical cop, that’s good because everything needs a balance. If you’re a bad cop that’s awesome too. Because no body liked what a wiener Ethan Hawke was on Training Day. They like Denzel Washington being a bad ass and having sex with Eva Mendez while on the clock (very hot). I’ll even forgive him for wearing a wave cap during the whole movie. I will love all cops because I generally don’t break the law so their services are appreciated. Except for bicycle cops…they look like gay male strippers.


2 responses to “N.W.A. Had it All Wrong

  1. Hahahah! Love this..

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