Animals: Not Friends…They are Dinner

Humans are on the top of the food chain.  The reason is MOST of us are more intelligent than animals.  In a controlled environment our resourcefulness and use of weapons give us a huge advantage over natural weapons; strength, claws, or venom.  A bear could easily rip my torso into fleshy ribbons only if I subject myself to a vulnerable position in it’s natural habitat (fuuuuuck camping).  The bear cannot cyber stalk me, make a copy of a key to my house, and take pictures of me sleeping (not saying my youth pastor did that…am I joking…who knows?!?!).  The bear cannot harm me if I am in a vehicle with four-wheel drive because I can run over him.  So, score one for me…negative one for the asshole bear.

Although we can not smell and track our prey two miles away, we can make explosives capable of far more damage than the biggest animal ever dreamed of on the worst rampage. So take over the animals’ natural habitat, mate with their women….I mean conquer them. We need to control them with force. They should always fear us. Animals need to recognize that homo sapiens are superior and this fiver fingered motha with opposable thumbs will destroy them and their young.  The very sight of a propane grill should serve as a reminder that we can and we will remain dominant.

I also find animals to be delicious. There is no emotional attachment when I put lemon pepper on its delectable flesh. Animals are not meant for lasting bonds, humans are. My human friends and I shall enhance our relationship by enjoying animals at a non vegan restaurant.  I am just not hip enough I am not a boy with Kate Gosselin hair and my skinny jeans have a hole in the crotch (eh, I ‘ll still wear the jeans).  By all means if you feel that’s cruel go fist bump a lion…

Fried Guinea Pigs


4 responses to “Animals: Not Friends…They are Dinner

  1. I just read “Eating Animals”, by Jonathan Safran Foer. After that, I needed this. Not because my perspective was becoming unclear, but because the book made me throw up in my lap.

    • Is this anti-animal propaganda? I am a picky picky meat eater, the conditions are treacherous for some of those animals. I can’t assimilate entirely to vegetarian or vegan, I like my eggs and fish!

      • No. It’s anti-eating animals. More of PETA propaganda, but unfortunately very well researched. At times the book seems to lean towards only being anti-factory farm, but then something is mentioned that causes you to understand the author is clearly esteeming animals as high as his children.
        I only read the book because I wanted to see if people on the other side of the issue had any sense. And… they don’t 😉

      • I see, yeah I still say we dominate them but probably shouldn’t eat them when they’re full of hormones….They are pretty delicious though! If you read too much, you can’t eat anything.

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