I Hate Lowes More Now Than Ever Before

        Recently, I decided to take on a few projects. I want to paint some thrift store furniture (not that godforsaken crackle finish, I haven’t had a hysterectomy yet), as well a grow some of my own herbs (not marijuana I am gainfully employed).
I go to Lowes for certain projects like the one’s mentioned above. You can’t beat the discount price of mismatched paint mixes.

The store itself is the problem. It takes a minute to get acquainted with the layout as every store is slightly different.  Once you figure out you need to look at the aisle signs that are hung at cathedral ceiling level, you finally get an idea of where to go.
What I really hate is the employees. When i can’t find something or need assistance with an item on a higher shelf there is not a single blue vest to be found.  They have vanished as if the rapture got them (all those crap Kirk Cameron movies are true). On the other hand, when I know exactly what I need and where to find it, they appear form another dimension to ask if I need help. I am immediately annoyed.
This last time I felt bombarded as I needed items on opposite end of the store. I was asked at least six times if I needed help.  For fuck sake we are in a recession! Why has Lowes employed the population of San Fransisco for one store?What’s worse is the sales people have assigned areas to work.  If I want to look around or just grab different things throughout the store, I have to be asked by each area’s assigned staff member.  I grab items like I am Indiana Jones taking the holy grail, trying to get away unnoticed. I am such a social butterfly that I may just rush o the checkout forgoing the light bulbs so I don’t have to be asked if I need assistance AGAIN! It’s fine I will use candles.
Upon checking out, I am exhausted.  I am so drained I do not even want to start my projects when I get home.  Purchased supplies remain unused, I have wasted my money. I hate Lowes so…so…so…much.

10 responses to “I Hate Lowes More Now Than Ever Before

  1. fuck homeowners

    the feeling is mutual. All you dipshit homeowners who come in on the weekend only feed the employee’s attitude of indifference. The three best adjectives for Lowe’s (homeowner) customers are as follows: Lazy, needy and entitled. You come in asking the stupidest fucking questions any of us have ever heard. Do a little research before you come in and ask me where the thin-set is when you’re standing right in front of it.

    Oh God, you have to look at signs to figure out where products are!?! Poor you, cry me a fucking river and fuck off you stupid son of a bitch

  2. I am a bit confused by some of your complaints:

    First, when have you ever been to a big-box style retailer that has ALL of its stores arranged precisely the same? With different zoning and coding ordinances, city and county codes, etc., what do you- realistically- think the odds are of finding two 100,000sq. ft.-plus locations arranged in EXACTLY the same manner?

    Second, and in relation to the first question, how hard is it to look at signs and figure out where items in the store are? I mean, honestly, is that a real complaint? I don’t complain about finding the soup aisle in Meijer, Kroger, etc.- I just follow a flawless, two-step process:

    1.) Find the sign with “SOUP”, “Soup”, “soup”, or the plural versions of any of these words printed on it.

    2.) Enter that sign’s corresponding aisle, and obtain my soup.

    As a last note, it’s not Starbucks or some other small retail entity, where the reduced size, lessened manpower requirements, and single-type service offering allows for staffing to be non-specialized. Lowes, just like Home Depot, Best Buy, Meijer, Kroger, or Cabelas (just to name a few) have multiple product and service offerings, in multiple locations, usually requiring type-specific knowledge of that store area’s product/service discipline. Specialization versus blanket cross training fits the big-box retailer business model.

    Lastly, in the spirit of full disclosure, I’ve worked for Lowes whilst finishing my degree, and they REQUIRE us to greet every customer within approx. 10 feet of us; believe me, much of the time, we don’t want to deal with you either, but it’s talk to about your shit, or get written up….

    • Um holy hell why is every employee so offended, clearly this is half joking and sarcastic in nature, If I was really having an issue I would formally complain. I understand all of theses things you said above so, yeah, just take this as it is: stupid, my ramblings about stupid things.

  3. We are supposed to greet people. That’s corporate. They want us to do these things.

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  5. Lowe’s lackeys commenting above prove that A: They haven’t the skills required to do anything else (you get better service and attitude at McDonalds) and B: Lowe’s not only has shit management for requiring that stupid 10 foot policy, but highest prices too.

    If I can’t get it online, or at Wally World, I don’t need it.

    • Ha ha ha, I have deleted some of the comments as soon as I got them because they were insane. I think most of all this proves Lowe’s employees have no sense of humor and will defend their company’s honor viciously. Perhaps even go to war for the company? Meh, probably.

  6. I love stores like Lowes and Home Depot. I’m not a homeowner, but I love to wander and look and dream about when I finally DO get my own place, just what it is I’m going to do with it. It’s quite educational to wander around for hours. I also occasionally have to go for some project or other I’m working on, since I try to be handy and self-sufficient and all that. 🙂

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