Rally Against Wieners, Not Bullies

There is a good chance this opinion makes me a bad parent.  Perhaps my parenting alone doesn’t already to that.  Either way, I feel a tinge of delight when my son comes home only to tell me a kid was mean to him.  Furthermore I am more delighted when he says he called the kid a “butt doctor”. I fully support a degree of childhood bullying.

It’s not that I want other kids to be malicious to my son. I just want him to experience life’s challenges. Who better than to do this than peers?  I firmly believe a healthy dose of bullying is in order to raise a productive adult. This is how kids learn what is socially acceptable. Your kid should know it’s not okay to lick snot from his nose instead of wiping it with Kleenex. His peers have the responsibility to call him “Snotty Scotty for three years if he does.  Let’s face the truth; no one likes a weirdo. If no one tells this kid he’s gross, he will do this as and adult, and never date.  Next thing you know he had sewn a row of people’s mouths to buttholes in order to create a human centipede.

I feel like a degree of opposition will build character. Every kid needs to argue, and by that learning to take a firm stance on his beliefs.  That means Bret Michaels is a much cooler diabetic than Wilford Brimley, end of discussion.  Even better is learning the ability to stand up for beliefs when they are criticized or challenged.  Your kid needs to be called a dummy by his peers every once in while and then he needs to learn how to fire back with supporting statements said with total conviction.  You know… or at least say “your mom”.

I applaud that kid who will tell my own he is wrong.  I think every kid needs to know not to open his mouth at any opportunity to speak his opinion.  I even want my son to learn he can and will be wrong so don’t try to be the authority on everything or you will be in jeopardy of  “fucktard” status.  This helps him avoid being the adult who defends Old School as cinematic comedic excellence with an undue vigor.

I am not saying kids should be harassed to the point it’s traumatic to go to school.  I am saying there is no need to isolate your kid and tell his teacher every single time the other kids are “mean” to him.  If you are overbearing it’s your fault; you put wet naps in his lunch box and cut the crust off his PB&J.  It’s your fault he’s the kid who gets pegged in the face with a dodge ball after he’s out, for the second time.  Maybe the PE teacher wouldn’t silently cheer to himself if you didn’t train him to tuck his gym shirt into his shorts and have a bowl cut.  Don’t call the principle because this is your mess.

These kids are doing your wiener kid a favor in life.  Yes he may still have his glasses on but that doesn’t stop life’s balls from slamming into his face.  He needs to know LIFE IS NOT FAIR.  Just like 7th grade gym class, there is no mercy.

Lastly, I will say that when you receive negative feedback you learn to be self-aware and compensate in other areas of your life.  Perhaps your kid runs slow and can’t play sports, that kid who tells him he ruined the game did him a huge favor.  Your kid will pursue drafting, something he is good at.  Maybe now he can focus his energy into that and possibly become an engineer.  I feel like it’s a natural process of elimination.  My kid can realize his weaknesses and utilize his strengths.  I just hope that he doesn’t have a knack for creating human centipedes.


17 responses to “Rally Against Wieners, Not Bullies

  1. Thanks for liking my post on affordable art. I love your post on bullying and I really admire your writing!

    I got bullied in school. It made me stronger. I don’t agree with kids gettinjg beat up, but a little bullying builds character in a person! Life experience!

  2. I don’t think bullying serves a purpose one way or the other because kids don’t respect one another, and they don’t know shit; they’re kids. Kids don’t know what’s socially acceptable. Say your kid wants to learn to play the violin. Now if he goes to school with a violin, he’s probably going to get called a faggot until he gives it up. What if he gives it up, and he could have been some kind of prodigy? Some dumb ass kids negative feedback took that from him.

    Kids learn best from adults. The best way to shape a kids character is to raise them right. Instill in them the things you value as best as you can. And I can’t stress this enough: Boys need fathers in their life. It would have saved me a whole shitload of trouble, and learning the hard way if I had a father around to give me some guidance and beat my ass once in a while. Instead I learned things hanging out on the corner with the rest of the neighborhood punks. My mother worked all the time, and when she was around she wasn’t fast enough to catch me.

    I taught myself how to box, ride a bike, skateboard, how to boost cd’s from tower records, how to roll a blunt at 12, and a whole lot of shit way worse that I won’t even post here. Why? Because I took my queues from other kids instead of adults. Most of all because I never had a father around to knock some sense into me.

    • Oh my GOD write your own blog stop using my fucking comment section to tell me you live a “hard-knock” life! NOBODY fucking cares!!!!! Ugh go on the View.

    • And adults know everything and respect each other fully. Where are you living?

      If your kid gives up the violin — even though he’s good or he’s passionate about it — because somebody called him a faggot, well then, your kid is weak and was never destined to be a violinist.

      We probably disagree a lot on how to raise kids. If you had had a father, I suspect your comment would have been much different. Woulda, coulda, shoulda… it is what it is. Maybe you missed out on the part where some other kid should have knocked the shit out of you. That’s too bad. I would have loved to see that.

      • Funny how a obviously silly post could generate so many bad memories of giving up the violin? So sad.

      • “If your kid gives up the violin — even though he’s good or he’s passionate about it — because somebody called him a faggot, well then, your kid is weak and was never destined to be a violinist.”

        Kids aren’t born with strength of character, that’s something that has to be molded starting at a very early age. If your kid refuses to do his homework do you dismiss him as lazy and weak and say, fuck it? No, you tell him that he’s got to do it to make grades; he’s got to knock his fucking brains out to make grades, because when you make the grades you get the diploma, and the diploma is your ticket, you get to ride the merry-go-round. Getting on doesn’t mean you’ll catch the brass ring, no, but it guarantees you the chance to at least try. That’s what the fuck you tell him. And kids don’t know that, those kinds of ethics aren’t inherent in them. If you never had a father I suspect your comment would have been much different. Moron

        And the shit knocking part? Buddy, you have no idea.

      • the shit packing part? nope we are clueless

  3. Pingback: One, Two, One, Two This is Just a TEST! I Got Schooled. | Facehookin'

  4. I never said shit packing. Clever though. I’m just giving you a little dime store wisdom here, okay? Do you disagree with my previous post?

    • Are you as handsome as you are smart? I find you exciting! “Straight up now tell me do really want to love me forever..oh oh oh”….sing it Paula.

  5. I’ve never been mistaken for either. Well, that’s not true. My mother thinks i’m handsome.

  6. You never answered the question…..

  7. Have you ever read “The Body” by Stephen King? If not you’ve probably seen the movie that it was adapted into: Stand By Me. Anyway, there’s a part of that novella that I think sums up what I was trying to say in my above posts much more eloquently. And since I could only ever dream of writing prose as good as King, I think i’ll let him speak for me.

    Two of the boys, Gordie and Chris, are talking about the upcoming school year. Gordie tells Chris he’s not going to take college prep courses because he’d rather be in the vocational courses with his friends rather than with “pussies”. Gordie’s parents won’t mind because since his brother Denny died, they don’t pay much attention to him, they’re stricken with grief. Chris is a precocious young kid who comes from a fucked up and very poor family, his father is an abusive alcoholic and his brothers are criminals. Chris sees the talent that Gordie has and tries to talk some sense into him:

    ‘You’re just a kid, Gordie -‘
    ‘Gee, thanks, Dad.’
    ‘I wish to fuck I was your father!’ he said angrily. ‘You wouldn’t go around talking about taking those stupid shop courses if I was! It’s like God gave you something, all those stories you can make up, and He said, This is what we got for you, kid. Try not to lose it. But kids lose everything unless somebody looks out for them and if your folks are too fucked up to do it then maybe I ought to.”

    “Those stories you tell, they’re no good to anybody but you, Gordie. If you go along with us just because you don’t want the gang to break up, you’ll wind up just another grunt, making Cs to get on the teams. You’ll get to High and take the same fuckin’ shop courses and throw erasers and pull your meat along with the rest of the grunts. Get detentions. Fuckin’ suspensions. And after a while all you’ll care about is gettin’ a car so you can take some skag to the hops or down to the fuckin’ Twin Bridges Tavern. Then you’ll knock her up and spend the rest of your life in the mill or some fuckin’ shoeshop in Auburn or maybe even up to Hillcrest pluckin’ chickens. And that pie story will never get written down. Nothin’ll get written down. ‘Cause you’ll just be another wiseguy with shit for brains.’ ”

    Chris Chambers was twelve when he said all that to me. But while he was saying it his face crumpled and folded into something older, oldest, ageless. He spoke tonelessly, colourlessly, but nevertheless, what he said struck terror into my bowels. It was as if he had lived that whole life already, that life where they tell you to step right up and spin the Wheel of Fortune, and it spins so pretty and the guy steps on the pedal and it comes up double zeros, house number, everybody loses. They give you a free pass and then turn on a rain machine, pretty funny, huh?”

    That right there says it better than I ever could. And that is why Stephen King is one of the best-selling authors of all time.

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