Television, specifically reality television, has created a monster. Suddenly everybody feels they need to be famous? There’s a reason, Sir Douche MacBaggin’s of Hollister (no matter how popped that collar is) that you’re not; because you have no outstanding fucking talent. Don’t be sad, you just have to work a regular job like the rest of us mediocre folk. It’s been that way since the dawning of mankind, everyone wants to be more widely influential than they are probably destined to be. All the while these people with enthusiastic, yet shallow, aspirations alienate themselves acting pretentiously to the point no one really likes them.
Well, that was the cold hard facts, but fortunately I have a loophole, take heed to my admirable advice….
Now ladies, you mean to tell me you aspire to be filmed drinking and being overtly slutty with strangers to fulfill your desperate need for attention is REALLY validating? Sure it is! Example; mom of the year dancing onstage drunk beyond oblivion while the crowd can see her panties and ruggedly worn “lady” parts will in no way have a negative effect on her child. Her daughter will always know how smart mom is for starring in a video on You Tube.
Why do this? Well, like the you, it’s easy. Do not waste the time to educate yourself so that you are an interesting person to talk to. No one cares about the economy, religion, philosophy, or politics. Well no one cares that is significantly fucking cool (excuse me I mean: Rly effin’ kool). It’s easier to wear a short skirt and it’s fun to degrade yourself with lewd behavior! Anyone can knock a few alcoholic beverages back because let’s face it people are only interesting when they drink, so make sure you drink the most. I mean guys definitely form meaningful relationships with a girl who puts out after some Screwdrivers and insincere ego boosting compliments. While you landed prince charming, everyone else who happened to see you at the bar is so impressed by you. They wonder how THEY can know such an amazing, inspiring person themselves.
Hey, post some more cleavage shots on Facebook because that will tell everyone you are self confident and in no way seeking any form of attention. Everyone knows you really think you are as attractive as you say you are. Make sure your status updates offer too much personal information or even blog about it because EVERYONE in the entire country cares about your specific problems that you bring upon yourself. I mean, really, everyone cares about you as a person (though you lack any discernible talents). There is no doubt we ALL must know who you are.
Reach for the stars, because lucky for you, your need to lash out due to a deeper desire for acceptance will award you your 15 minutes. Your thinly veiled confidence is just as alluring as your whiskey/vomit breath.