Time to Say Auf Wiedersehen
I know a person who had a dachshund hound, or a wiener dog as they are so cleverly nicknamed. This particular wiener was always a hot dog for Halloween. Oh my gosh how cute! Gee animals in costume are adorable and I so don’t feel my body trying to purge my organs when I look at them.
When I met this dog she was old, irritable, and morbidly obese. She was just like the dog version of the secretaries that work in elementary school offices. You know those women who keep chocolate stashes in their desk, seem to be perpetually going through the change, and ironically wear sweaters with children on them when they in fact hate all children.
Over time this dog developed Congestive Heart Failure. She was initially given diuretics and put on a strict diet. She had periodic visits to the vet to have fluid removed from her chest.
Sadly, the condition worsened and vet trips increased dramatically in frequency. This dog became emaciated and was failing to thrive. The worst part was the smell emitted from this dog. This smell could only indicate a poor prognosis of internal decay. It was like you knew Death himself was held up in traffic and he was running late to come pick up this dog.
"Let's see, I guess I'll move the wiener dog to next Thursday"
Instead of letting nature take care of this situation in a timely manner, there was a prolonged attempt to keep this dog around. It would lay under its blanket (burial shroud) and probably hallucinate seeing perhaps a Collie friend that passed after a run in with a BFI truck. No doubt that dog was taking a personal inventory of butts sniffed and chew toys enjoyed through the years.
The dog didn’t quite make it through the holidays and passed away. I was sad for this person because the vigilant attempt to prolong life was only to enjoy one last holiday with the wiener. The dog did however leave a spot on the carpet where I guess her entrails seeped out of her crevices. You can imagine the delightful lingering smell that no sugar cookie holiday scented Yankee Candle could remedy.
People buy this crap
I understand the motivation behind the actions, but I think perhaps that dog should have been laid to rest sooner, she seemed miserable. I know her owner just wasn’t ready to say goodbye. I was, however, way relieved when canine Terry Shaivo finally ascended to the great spirit in the sky.