Time to Say Auf Wiedersehen

I know a person who had a dachshund hound, or a wiener dog as they are so cleverly nicknamed. This particular wiener was always a hot dog for Halloween. Oh my gosh how cute! Gee animals in costume are adorable and I so don’t feel my body trying to purge my organs when I look at them.
When I met this dog she was old, irritable, and morbidly obese. She was just like the dog version of the secretaries that work in elementary school offices. You know those women who keep chocolate stashes in their desk, seem to be perpetually going through the change, and ironically wear sweaters with children on them when they in fact hate all children.
Over time this dog developed Congestive Heart Failure.  She was initially given diuretics and put on a strict diet. She had periodic visits to the vet to have fluid removed from her chest.
Sadly, the condition worsened and vet trips increased dramatically in frequency. This dog became emaciated and was failing to thrive. The worst part was the smell emitted from this dog. This smell could only indicate a poor prognosis of internal decay.  It was like you knew Death himself was held up in traffic and he was running late to come pick up this dog.

"Let's see, I guess I'll move the wiener dog to next Thursday"

Instead of letting nature take care of this situation in a timely manner, there was a prolonged attempt to keep this dog around.  It would lay under its blanket (burial shroud) and probably hallucinate seeing perhaps a Collie friend that passed after a run in with a BFI truck. No doubt that dog was taking a personal inventory of butts sniffed and chew toys enjoyed through the years.

The dog didn’t quite make it through the holidays and passed away.  I was sad for this person because the vigilant attempt to prolong life was only to enjoy one last holiday with the wiener. The dog did however leave a spot on the carpet where I guess her entrails seeped out of her crevices. You can imagine the delightful lingering smell that no sugar cookie holiday scented Yankee Candle could remedy.

People buy this crap


I understand the motivation behind the actions, but I think perhaps that dog should have been laid to rest sooner, she seemed miserable. I know her owner just wasn’t ready to say goodbye.  I was, however, way relieved when canine Terry Shaivo finally ascended to the great spirit in the sky.
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20 responses to “Time to Say Auf Wiedersehen

  1. I guess for some it depends on where the animal fits in the owner’s heirarchy of relationships. part of a family is different for some than THE family, as in the only living thing I can count on every day to be there.

    oh, and the rant you deleted had wonderful lines in it.

    Have a great day

    • Oh the prior rant was not completely done, I accidentally hit publish instead of update. I generally go through my writings about 3 to 4 times or more before publish. I’ll have it back up though it may not be a perfect “fit” for my blog. So it will be back soon.

  2. Must have been a dog-hating day. Wiener dogs are a close second in the disgusting line behind Chihuahuas

  3. I can only speak for myself, but after loving dogs and cats all my life, I have come to learn that the time comes when the most compassionate and loving thing that we can do for our beloved furry friends… is to have the courage to do what is necessary to end all their pain and suffering when their quality of life is gone.

  4. Thats what 2011 is like for me an old weiner dog who has long since lived past his prime. I mean, thats what you were going for right? year to animal comparison? Oh wait nevermind… On a side note nice new blog layout definitely fits your personality more… PS fix your about section too!

  5. Nicely written with a great sense of humor. I think this is a tough topic for dog owners, but it comes down to alleviating suffering.

    • Thank you and it’s all tongue in cheek. I don’t really like to see animals suffer. I had to put a cat under when it was hit by a car and snapped it’s spine, oh it was so pitiful!

  6. I always have mixed feelings about what we do to keep our pets around. And that’s not even getting into the moral implications of breeding things for our amusement and personal comfort.

  7. nicely done. I like this post. It has good views as to how all living things fit together, as well should interact to together. Sad that some people don’t seem to see it! Thanks for looking around my blog as well as following. Hope to live up to some standerd of expectation. LOL All the best!

  8. Where the hell did you find that picture of the winged pooch?

    • Oh my god! Google! None the less I saw it and thought “This is the dumbest thing I have ever seen and will see in my life” even worse, there are different breeds of dogs with wings. VOMIT

  9. Dont ask “who paints this crap” …ask “who BUYS this crap!”

    • Bwahahahaha the exact same ppl who dress animals like people, wear sweaters with their animal airbrushed on it, and celebrate pet birthdays with parties. so….dorks do!

      • So you’re Sheena now… I like it. (not that it should matter to you) And I like that you went back to your Tina Fey look too. Which you should take as a compliment, because I LOVE Tina Fey!

        But getting to the point, and I do have one, add to above list of dorks – leggy blonde bimbos with great shapes, but totally vapid brains, who clutch terrified Chihuahuas to their chests – in a nightclub where the music is ear splittingly loud enough for Helen Keller to hear! I saw this abomination of mindless animal cruelty over 30 years ago, and it still pisses me off when I think of it to this day. “Dork” is far too kind of a word…

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