Plan B Me !!!!!

Alright I am assuming that most of you have seen the Plan B (morning after pill) commercials. What I have gathered is, you can have copious amounts of unprotected sex, even if you’re a teenager, and then go to the pharmacy for anti-baby medication. While that’s probably awesome I am disappointed by the method of advertising. I have included the real (suckish) commercial below:

It seems that upon taking your pill, your boyfriend, FWB, or whatever he is will not be able to resist the urge to cuddle you. He will take you to the movies and or buy a house with you. You as a liberated anti-pregnant woman will be free to paint your toenails and have coffee with the gals. I get the subliminal message here; babies freaking suck and none of these activities are as enjoyable when you have that little lichen inside you feeding, metamorphisizing, and ripping your uterus apart with its claws.

Well, well, well, once again I feel I should have been in advertising because the message is subtle but perhaps not as effective as a real life scenario. The prospect of movies and Chinese take-out doesn’t convince me that I need to run to the pharmacy if I happen to sleep with someone unprotected and without baby blockers or you know birth control I think it’s called.

I think the woman should wake up obviously hung over, because let’s face it, that’s more realistic. She sees this first;

I for one would be concerned with the amount of ass hair in my sheets. Okay so she kind of gags at that. Well then the camera should pan out and show the man in her bed to resemble this sexy poodle lover below.

Wincing, she creeps out of bed, and hastily puts her clothing on. She stumbles over her own feet she is in such a hurry to leave her own apartment. There isn’t even time to kick ass forest out of her bed. There aren’t even seconds to spare. All she can see is miniature fat children with mullets and an affinity for small breed dogs.

She gets to the pharmacy and grabs the first employee she sees by his white coat. “Plan B Me! Now!” she exclaims. He doesn’t look too surprised, he’s seen this before so he offers her some nail polish along with her purchase. She agrees, knowing that would be delightful tonight sans fertilized egg. She takes the pill there at the counter and relief washes over her. Throwing the empty package at the pharmacist she says, “Deuces!” and walks out. Fin.


29 responses to “Plan B Me !!!!!

  1. LOL I agree much more realistic and btw I spit my coffee all over my keyboard at ass forest.

  2. NOTE TO SELF: Do not read Sheena’s posts immediately after just waking up! Just wasn’t ready to be stabbed in the eye balls by the Hairy Ass Forest from Hell!!! (although it really made your point!) Need full cup of coffee before I can gaze upon the heart of the crack of darkness, without suffering temporary PTSD.

    • It’s the best part of waking up

      • I’m feeling much better now, and more able to once again appreciate the biting sarcasm of your humor and your multiple stab attack on really lame assed commercials. Not only are you very funny and entertaining, but you are also providing a valuable service to society, by shining a bright and harsh light on the idiocy in advertising. Well done!

  3. I like your vision better!
    Well done.

  4. Hilarious post. I just watched Lethal Weapon 1 last night, it seemed almost everyone in that movie had a mullet. I’d give this one a 6.2 on the Martin Riggs scale. 😉
    Peace & grace,

  5. Wow is all I can say… I suspect Planned Parenthood will probably come out with a similar ad campaign. After all, they’re getting our taxpayer money to pay for it, so why not?

  6. Wait… Is ass forest wearing a thong?

  7. That hairy ass is pretty disgusting I won’t lie. And You should be in advertising at least just for one day.

  8. In appreciation of the light you bring with your positivity and creativity, you’ve been nominated for the Candle Lighter Award. Congratulations and shine one. 🙂
    Peace & grace,

  9. I cannot un-see the hairy ass. Thanks. For. That.

  10. Mushrooms and eggs on toast and “ass forest” are not breakfast companions.

  11. It kinda resembles tampon ads in that sense, doesn’t it? If you use it, it results in awesome lives full of friends and exciting adventures.

    BTW I thought that ass-forest was an incredibly wrinkly ass when I first saw it. Not exactly a prettier concept either.

    • I think so too, I mean these ads want you to feel like the product enables you to live life even better than before. silliness. These people must think all women are really that stupid.

    • Ha ha I should count the number of ass forests in my comments, I am loving this, thanks for reading and commenting. Agreed that the marketing towards women can be insulting at times.

  12. It’s lonely in the men with back hair club….

  13. There should be an ass crack alert at the start! Its too early for me to see that.


  14. I cannot stop laughing at this post. Could not agree more on the commercial, at least make it a realistic situation people

    • Thank you for reading. I really want to make this video, I lack equipment to do so. I’m glad describing it was not in vain. Thank you for reading!

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