Alright I am assuming that most of you have seen the Plan B (morning after pill) commercials. What I have gathered is, you can have copious amounts of unprotected sex, even if you’re a teenager, and then go to the pharmacy for anti-baby medication. While that’s probably awesome I am disappointed by the method of advertising. I have included the real (suckish) commercial below:
It seems that upon taking your pill, your boyfriend, FWB, or whatever he is will not be able to resist the urge to cuddle you. He will take you to the movies and or buy a house with you. You as a liberated anti-pregnant woman will be free to paint your toenails and have coffee with the gals. I get the subliminal message here; babies freaking suck and none of these activities are as enjoyable when you have that little lichen inside you feeding, metamorphisizing, and ripping your uterus apart with its claws.
Well, well, well, once again I feel I should have been in advertising because the message is subtle but perhaps not as effective as a real life scenario. The prospect of movies and Chinese take-out doesn’t convince me that I need to run to the pharmacy if I happen to sleep with someone unprotected and without baby blockers or you know birth control I think it’s called.
I think the woman should wake up obviously hung over, because let’s face it, that’s more realistic. She sees this first;
I for one would be concerned with the amount of ass hair in my sheets. Okay so she kind of gags at that. Well then the camera should pan out and show the man in her bed to resemble this sexy poodle lover below.
Wincing, she creeps out of bed, and hastily puts her clothing on. She stumbles over her own feet she is in such a hurry to leave her own apartment. There isn’t even time to kick ass forest out of her bed. There aren’t even seconds to spare. All she can see is miniature fat children with mullets and an affinity for small breed dogs.
She gets to the pharmacy and grabs the first employee she sees by his white coat. “Plan B Me! Now!” she exclaims. He doesn’t look too surprised, he’s seen this before so he offers her some nail polish along with her purchase. She agrees, knowing that would be delightful tonight sans fertilized egg. She takes the pill there at the counter and relief washes over her. Throwing the empty package at the pharmacist she says, “Deuces!” and walks out. Fin.