Shut Your Pie Hole: The SYFF edition

I have previously posted about habits people have that make communicating with them personally impossible. Honestly, there are people who, while they speak, I cannot stop thinking about when they will shut up. The content is simultaneously disregarded  while delivered in correlation to the irritability factor of said sender.  I have to revisit this topic as I have become aware of more communication infractions. Here is the link to my previous post

Shut Your Pie Hole

Voice Demodulation. I know that I speak for everyone when I say, volume is emphatic and the louder you speak, the more people listen. Environmental distractions such as the feature film in a movie theater are loud, so you need to conquer; decibel wise.  No one paid to see a movie, they obviously paid to listen to your whit. I do enjoy a live version of Mystery Science Theater 3000 for sure, but I really like being with the person that’s captivating the audience. I feel really cool by default. Of course loud talking is applicable anywhere; grocery store, library, funeral home, etc. Thanks human social network for your status update, I am so glad your fourteen year old daughter is pregnant. I’m sorry about your fungal issues.

Studies “They” do. I don’t know who “they” are myself, but “they” are so fucking smart. I already know that if someone starts their fact with “They say…blah blah I have no idea what I am talking about, blah, blah.” chances are they are droppin’ science (and droppin’ it all over). Now when I imagine the studies conducted by “they” I cannot really even wrap my mind around the vast array of data provided to me daily. “They say daddy longlegs are the most dangerous spider in the world, they’re mouths are too small to bite you.” Wait, what? GET the fuck out! I have been in the potential danger of a necrotic venom capable of radical organ tissue damage all this time and the CDC never warned anyone? Thank goodness “they” as a collective study things in their sky laboratory protected by wizards. This crazy group of scientists that calculate endlessly, anonymously always descending their knowledge to other really deserving and intelligent people. Thanks “they” I quit peeing in public pools so as not to change the color of the water around me and embarrass myself!

Lastly, the fact that you would do whatever I did in the situation far better than me. In actuality, most people probably do respond more appropriately than me in many situations, I’m not know for the best decision making. See also: workplace disciplinary action. For whatever reason I am telling a story that involves conflict and resolution, I didn’t really want to complete the story. I simply provided a description of a real life situation personal to me for which you give a hypothetical ending. Please divulge me in your accurate action taking, decision making, and idealistic outcome.  I’m also glad your rapid, yet pretend, reaction is going to somehow improve the situation  though it already happened.

Perhaps this post will be revisited with a part three? I say likely.


39 responses to “Shut Your Pie Hole: The SYFF edition

  1. From Trains, Planes, and Automobiles:

    Steve Martin: “Eh, look, I don’t want to be rude, but I’m not much of a conversationalist, and I really want to finish this article, a friend of mine wrote it, so… ”

    John Candy: “Don’t let me stand in your way, please don’t let me stand in your way. The last thing I want to be remembered as is an annoying blabbermouth… You know, nothing grinds my gears worse than some chowderhead that doesn’t know when to keep his big trap shut… If you catch me running off with my mouth, just give me a poke on the chubbs…”

    That’s the character I’m talking about. That classic John Hughes movie personifies most of the unattractive [read repulsive] qualities of a lot of people I’ve had the misfortune to have to endure.

    It’s like people finishing your sentences for you — just STFU. I can formulate my own sentences ,thank you, and I sometimes take dramatic pauses. Just STFU.

    You hit home with this one, Sheena.

    • Thanks! This is why I have done this post in installments. There are so many rude things people do! Finishing sentences is another one. I like to act like that wasn’t what I was going to say, and then say something totally obscure. Every once in a while that remedies the situation or better yet drives the person away. I loved this movie, (and heart Steve Martin) John Candy’s character was the perfect annoying guy!

  2. Well, if I had been writing this post, I would have included more metaphorical imagery pertaining to harmless spider bites resulting in massive tissue necrosis, as an allegory for teenage angst about acne, because they say that nothing makes a greater impression on your listeners than expounding loudly on this subject during a tour guide’s discourse on the expression of light and color used in Van Gogh’s Sunflower paintings.

    I will now shut my pie hole, after hearing your silent but still very loud telepathic message of SYFF!!! Lol

  3. Here’s one: people who punctuate with phrases. Example: “Uhm,” or “You know?” and (albeit rare here) “and shit.”

  4. Witty and entertaining post. Loud talkers are a pet peeve of mine as well. I’ve always found the bane of all loud talkers is action, not loud talking back. When someone is talking in a theatre, I’ll actually get up and stand right in front of them (action) when I tell the to be quite. It may seem like a small gesture, but it’s still a gesture of action, which is the opposite of what they’re all about: talk. 9 times out of 10 this shuts them up. For the 1 that responds with anger and swearing, they bitch and whine for a few minutes, then almost always get up and leave the theatre because I guess I’ve “ruined” their movie watching experience. But who said walking a mile in someone else’s shoes was comfortable? 🙂
    Peace & grace,

    • I have dealt with it once (this is where I am not so commendable) and I said aloud “Who else wants to hear this conversation?” I pointed at a random guy and asked, “do you?”….I was 19 and thought I was soooooo tough. I think these days I would just ask politely. I don’t get so confrontational anymore. I think the standing up gets their attention, and yes in a much more positive way.

  5. You just made me a permanent reader. You may now rejoice. (You know, because my approval was the first thing you wanted to garner today.)

    • Thanks for reading and following. I really appreciate it as I channeled you since May…you finally came to me, it’s not serendipity…it’s fate.

      • And so it came to pass, on the 31st of January, that the planets aligned, and Bimodal stumbled upon Facehookin’. The interwebs would never be the same.

        The Great Conjunction is the end of the world. Or the beginning.

  6. Lets face it, people are generally not very nice at all anymore! The world is a very cold and hard place at the best of times, so everyone is trying to be heard over everyone else. Sadly last I checked it is still not legal to end their misery with a lump of 4×2 but hey some of us live in hope 😉 Best we can do is try to add a little humour and laugh at the stupidity of it all!

    • Isn’t that all we can do? Laughing it off is my only coping skill, it keeps the anger at bay. Impressions really make me laugh. Yes the world is full of rude people. Thank you for stopping by!

  7. Why is it that some people have such a decibel issue in inappropriate public places? On the bus recently, a woman was screaming at someone (possibly her bank) on her mobile phone, inadvertently sharing every detail of her financial situation with every commuter whose hearing worked. We get it: you’re poor; screaming does not create wealth.

    • Was she toughtalking the customer service rep? I have another story about really loud ppl. I can’t give it away yet I’m going to write about it. It was one of the longest nights of my life to say the least. I like to think the woman you mentioned was in gambling debt and the person on the other line was ready to collect either money or toes…

  8. Absolutely hate when people try to finish my sentences for me or even try to put words in my mouth… IM NOT 5 years old! You don’t have to guess what I’m saying! ARGH the worst.

  9. Yogi Berra has been right all these years…

  10. Our studies show that 64% of theater goers would rather hear about a pregnant teen daughter and the deadly daddy long legs lurking in the dark under the seats than hear the (often useless) dialogue in the movie. Most respondents say that when the all-important explosions come along in the movie, they drown out conversation anyway.


  11. I’m for part three.

    …on a creepily supportive level.

  12. You really cut loose on this one, didn’t you? Good for you!

  13. I’d like to develop a system in which it’s socially acceptable to hold up signs with certain phrases on them when necessary. The signs would say things like “Please stop talking,” “Nobody cares” and “You’ve got to be kidding me. How did you convince yourself that any human being would want to listen to this?”

  14. Speaking of people talking in movies… I hate it when they ask annoying questions that would undoubtedly be answered if they’d just watch another 2 mins of the film.

    If you really wanted to know what happens before it happens, read the damn screenplay before you walk into the cinema!

  15. Nice picture. Did you add the caption? It was funny. On a random topic: you have a cool “add me on twitter button” I think I want one two. You are growing strong with the blogosphere, young one.

    I enjoyed your use of the ; on decibel wise. Sorry, I turn into rainman sometimes when critiquing blog posts.

    It’s true about daddy long legs. They say a toddler was corned and chased around town yesterday on U street.

    • I actually found the pic and it cracked me up big time, so I put it in there. I thought about making some more of my own from movies…ah so little time. Yes,I suppose I am trying to work up a following, I just don’t have the charisma of a cult leader…oh well. Thank you for reading and I’m glad you caught the decibel remark b/c I felt like I found gold when that one popped in my head. I laughed at myself!

  16. I can’t even explain what I thought reading this. It was very funny, to say the least, and quite true.

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