WWF is the topic today. I know what you’re thinking, but no, not the World Wrestling Federation. So I apologize I won’t be writing about Macho Man Randy Savage (Ooh Yeah!). No, I am writing about the World Wildlife Fund. Specifically, species adoption as a gift.
I’ve heard it several times recently, that species adoption is being used as a gift. Let me touch on gift etiquette. This is great for a hardcore animal lover. Of course habitat conservation is going to be appreciated by them. Now for the general population that likes animals but doesn’t feel a strong conviction about the safety of creatures all over the planet, this isn’t the best idea.
Most disappointing to me, is you don’t get the animal you adopt. You get a certificate and a plush stuffed animal of the same species you adopt. You don’t get to meet the animal, you don’t get letters from it, and it won’t be named after you. I for one want to see a Grizzly Bear named Sheena. I have known of a Rottweiler named Sheena, close, but no first prize in my books.
I just don’t want a little slip of paper saying an animal was adopted. This isn’t a gift. Actually bringing a Great White Shark to me that has been equipped with a saddle of sorts that allows me to rule the underwater world with bloody terror is way better and effective.
Even worse is someone may pick the animal out for you. Let’s use the Sea Manatee for example. Never has nature tried so hard to phase out a species. Have you seen how slow they swim? If it’s not boat propellers, it’s going to be any other species that’s faster, smarter, and more evolved that will exterminate them all. Humans keep them around. I would be pissed if I got a Sea Manatee, the animal that is the equivalent of a human unemployed avid court television watcher that eats a box of fudgesicles daily.
I want to pick my animal and honey badger isn’t an option. Sigh. I’ll settle for an Okapi since I have no clue what the fuck that is. I saw the picture and I still don’t know.
Now, I will say that worse than someone adopting an animal for me, is probably someone adopting a child for me. Unlike animals, when you adopt people, you have to take care of them. No certificate or stuffed human plush toy. Nope, it shows up, needing to eat, and be cared for. I cannot ride a baby and rule the ocean with rows of flesh ripping teeth trained to do my bidding. Well, unless this kid’s awesome.
One more point since I am talking about animals. I am surprised PETA isn’t pissed that the internet portrays animals as borderline illiterate. I mean it makes sense that would be offensive too right? I don’t think adorable kittens should be stereotyped. I mean PETA tends to get mad at animals wearing shoes, so their phonetic challenges should incite some anger as well, we are essentially making fun of animals for being stupid? I’ll write PETA with my utter outrage.
This blog is possible thanks to comments from a fellow blogger at Drew’s Soapbox so go there, check it out, and be impressed but please don’t stay too long. I get jealous easily.