I met my first love the summer of my junior year in high school. We locked eyes while sifting through CD’s at Wal-Mart. Fireworks, folks, serious teenage lovin’.
We had not been dating long, and I took him to my friends Andrew and Anthony’s house. My twin buddies that I also liked to harass people with. We had great fun with AOL, dating phone lines, and Home Shopping Network (hey this was 2000 ya’ll). I suppose it was better than drugs? Meth or prank phone calls…see it doesn’t seem so bad now huh?
One of our favorite (and probably most stupid) activities was to call a man named Snow, after school, each day. Why? He shared the same name as a Canadian rapper called….Snow. We would ask, “What is a boom boom? How do you lick a boom boom down? What will you inform me of?” Some times we would simply say, “Oh my God, send the rapture and take my soul into your bountiful all loving arms, Snow! Snow! It is you!”
The man was very angry every time we called and would rant, rave, cuss and threaten us. I am going to blame The Simpsons. It’s Bart and Lisa who showed me how fun it was to prank call Moe’s Tavern.
I get to their house with my new boyfriend. We call Snow immediately, as ritual dictates and laugh until our sides ached. We get the bright idea to call from Andrew and Anthony’s home phone and my boyfriend’s cell phone at the same time. We imagine with our delight how angry he would be to answer his call waiting only to hear someone else saying he is the BEST fucking rapper in Ontario. Has he pet a caribou? When will he tour? It goes on (yes I know, I was a dumb ass teen).
We blocked (*67) the home phone, but my boyfriend did not. A couple days later he calls me. He has been served a warrant for his arrest and he had to turn himself in. He was calling on his way to jail.
It seems that Mr. Snow was able to get my boyfriend’s cell phone number and he contacted the authorities. My guy got blamed for a whole month’s worth of harassment. He had to take out his piercings and sit in a cell for a few hours until his cousin bailed him out.
He never turned snitch (because snitches get stitches). He got a lifetime restraining order against a guy that he didn’t know existed until 48 hours prior for continuous harassing phone calls, though he made one. He had to pay court fees and thankfully there was no civil action taken.
What’s worse is he dated me for another year. We laughed about but I wonder if he didn’t hold a slight grudge against me for getting him arrested and his lip ring closing up? He was a stellar guy and I wish I could apologize, now to him and to Snow. I was such a little asshole.