How I Got My Boyfriend Arrested: Confessions From My Teen Years

I met my first love the summer of my junior year in high school. We locked eyes while sifting through CD’s at Wal-Mart. Fireworks, folks, serious teenage lovin’.

We had not been dating long, and I took him to my friends Andrew and Anthony’s house. My twin buddies that I also liked to harass people with. We had great fun with AOL, dating phone lines, and Home Shopping Network (hey this was 2000 ya’ll). I suppose it was better than drugs? Meth or prank phone calls…see it doesn’t seem so bad now huh?

One of our favorite (and probably most stupid) activities was to call a man named Snow, after school, each day. Why? He shared the same name as a Canadian rapper called….Snow. We would ask, “What is a boom boom? How do you lick a boom boom down? What will you inform me of?” Some times we would simply say, “Oh my God, send the rapture and take my soul into your bountiful all loving arms, Snow! Snow! It is you!”

The man was very angry every time we called and would rant, rave, cuss and threaten us. I am going to blame The Simpsons. It’s Bart and Lisa who showed me how fun it was to prank call Moe’s Tavern.

I get to their house with my new boyfriend. We call Snow immediately, as ritual dictates and laugh  until our sides ached. We get the bright idea to call from Andrew and Anthony’s home phone and my boyfriend’s cell phone at the same time. We imagine with our delight how angry he would be to answer his call waiting only to hear someone else saying he is the BEST fucking rapper in Ontario. Has he pet a caribou? When will he tour? It goes on (yes I know, I was a dumb ass teen).

We blocked (*67) the home phone, but my boyfriend did not. A couple days later he calls me. He has been served a warrant for his arrest and he had to turn himself in. He was calling on his way to jail.

It seems that Mr. Snow was able to get my boyfriend’s cell phone number and he contacted the authorities. My guy got blamed for a whole month’s worth of harassment. He had to take out his piercings and sit in a cell for a few hours until his cousin bailed him out.

He never turned snitch (because snitches get stitches). He got a lifetime restraining order against a guy that he didn’t know existed until 48 hours prior for continuous harassing phone calls, though he made one.  He had to pay court fees and thankfully there was no civil action taken.

What’s worse is he dated me for another year. We laughed about but I wonder if he didn’t hold a slight grudge against me for getting him arrested and his lip ring closing up? He was a stellar guy and I wish I could apologize, now to him and to Snow. I was such a little asshole.


47 responses to “How I Got My Boyfriend Arrested: Confessions From My Teen Years

  1. Oh, but what a clever little asshole you were. 🙂

  2. This dates me, but we called stores after school asking if they had Prince Albert in a can (pipe tobacco). If they said yes, we asked why didn’t they let him out. All this before Caller ID.

  3. Hahahaha!!! I was going to actually have this song in a blog I was working on. Lick you boom boom now. I LOVE THIS POST. Hilarious! Being in the pokey builds character so don’t fret so much Sheena. But my big question is how did that guy get a lifetime order of protection? I had guys come at me like they were auditioning to be in the Shinning and they only received a few months of an order. Anyway here is another Informer tribute one of my favorites:

  4. Too funny. I never got a boyfriend arrested but being a Canuck I remember Snow. thanks for the memory!

  5. I feel sorry that the guy had to share a name with that rapper, but seriously, I’m SO HAPPY you capitalized on that hot mess of a moniker.

  6. Cool post! I think that most of us were assholes when we were teens. My sophomore year in HS, my friends and I nearly got in the same kind of trouble that your BF did, with a back and forth prank call war with some other kids.
    But the police got involved after I made a call in which I had these two guys so convinced that I was a hit man with a contract out on their lives (have always been good at doing “voices”) that they were so scared they were pissing themselves. Their parents called the cops, and they figured out it was me and another guy – but all we got was an unpleasant meeting with the police and our parents, and an unofficial warning to never do it again. Which we never did…

  7. Gee.. my only practical joke was rubberbanding the lever on the auxiliary faucet on the kitchen sink.

    Wait.. wait.. there was that one incident involving a top hat, concrete block, and a tube of Super Glue ..’s all streaming back to me now — the Saran wrap over the all the commodes in the lavatories of the first dorm I stayed in on a pukefest Saturday night..
    Wait.. wait…. … …. . . . . . .

  8. hehehehehe…..BUSTED! Very funny blog!

    BTW, thank you for following my blog at….THANK YOU VERY MUCH! God bless!

  9. much more clever than 10 pound balls….

  10. you closed up his lip ring hole??? sheena, he’ll NEVER forget you. continue…

  11. OH MY GAWD!
    People really get arrested for that kinda stuff? You are one dangerous date!

  12. We used to call up people with the last name of Perdue and tell them they had good chicken. But we would use fake Mexican accents. Don’t ask why. It was all put to a halt when *69 came into effect and one woman actually called back demanding to speak to a parent. I then faked my best “mom” voice and talked the lady out of pressing charges. She was pissed. After all, it was one in the morning

    • Ha ha ha I am so glad everyone is sharing stories, I was hoping ppl would. This is funny, we are so silly as teens, as an adult I have gotten a couple prank phone calls and unless they wake me I usually play along or humor them, laughing to myself. I know how much fun they’re having. *69 ruined everything!!!hahhaha

  13. It’s so fun to remember stories like this from our past. We all did stupid crazy things. I thought, however, that prank calls ended with the invention of Caller ID.

    We used to ask “Is your refrigerator running? You’d better catch it!” in addition to the Prince Albert in a can story.

  14. my cousin and i used to do that all the time, until caller ID phones got famous and spoiled the fun! arghh

  15. That is an awesome and hilarious story!

    • Thanks you so much, you know surprisingly my mom thought so too, prob the only time in history a teenager was allowed to date her boyfriend after he got arrested…ha ha ha

  16. At the last restaurant I managed, every Saturday was “International Outreach Call Day”.
    the jamaican operator was very knowledgeable as to the pros and cons of every type of weed.
    Surprisingly, the Icelandic Chamber of Commerce didn’t support our idea of an ice cube factory in their country.

    good times…

  17. Sheena, Happy St. Patrick’s Day! … and a cat gift.

  18. HAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!! I so relate to this. You should call Snow and see if he’s still around …… apologize with more lyrical rhymes! I did some dumb S in school. Most of it’s locked away in the brain, but you just handed me the key! Yes, I do believe you should start a teenage confessions review on a regular basis. 🙂

  19. I licky love this on multiple levels.

  20. Wow! You ratted out your boyfriend?
    I hope he at least got an extra special round of “pity sex”!

    • No I didn’t he ended up getting caught, and he never told on me…bless him 🙂 I never fessed either, b/c well, I was and asshole kid! ha ha

  21. My goodness. I never thought people really made so many prank phone calls like that and even more surprised that the guy got angry each time. Didn’t he know that gladly accepting he is the Snow man (pun intended) would end the calls immediately. Moe exists.

    Yes, he was definitely a stellar guy!

  22. You coulda saved his ass by calling while he was in the pokey.

  23. Oh this is hilarious! i loved it. Reminds me of my own prank calling days- though mine never resulted in anything so dramatic! And your guy must’ve been really nice if he dated you even after this episode 🙂

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