Recently, I saw a very puzzling man at my bank’s drive-through service. He was sitting in the passenger seat of the car next to me. I noticed that upon first glance we was not distinctly male. His feathered coif fashioned to the liking of amateur detective Jessica Fletcher made him look, well, androgynous.
What I have observed is Mid-Life Androgyny. I capitalized that because it seems pretty official if I do that, like a scientist named it. We all know science makes shit legitimized. For example:
You can’t argue with these guys their smart, Pluto is not a planet, Boom. Dinosaurs are dead, Fact. I set up some beakers and a bunsen burner in my
bedroom laboratory, I’ll report back to the blogging community with how smart I’ve become, the studies I conduct and the fascinating conclusions I make.
Mid-Life Androgyny is a naturally occurring phenomenon closely associated with aging. This is the point in one’s life where their appearance either remains gender specific or becomes more nebulous. This is where men and women alike appear suddenly to be interchangeably male or female as they reach middle-aged status.
Okay so for example:
Right now, I think Janet looks like one of the guys who were responsible for helping to pioneer Microsoft programming in the eighties. Adversely, I found a picture of Janet in her youth, and obviously a woman.
This is not an isolated incident, there are others. There are men, that start to look like women as they age
What a MILF. Right? I would expect to find this guy at Kirklands before I would expect to see him on stage gyrating on a microphone stand covered in scarves in front of thousands. He rocked the “Rachael” long before Friends was a show but he was clearly a male at one time.
Smoking two cigarettes? Double Cool. Lastly there are women who get so much reconstructive and plastic surgery that they take on a transgender appearance.
She looks like an effeminate man, she looks like Steven Tyler who adversely looks like a rode hard lady that prowls dive bars, fighting the savage loneliness of multiple divorces, and too much High Life. Yet another example:
Donatella Versace before and after right? Whereas I would have bet this woman used to be this guy:
Yep, Coach reference for your ass, younger readers, go ahead and Google “Bill Fagerbakke” because I wouldn’t tell you to watch the show.
I’m going to prepare a hypothesis, and look through a microscope at cool things. I need to know what makes this happen. Obviously, plastic surgery is elective but what makes a middle-age man start to look like a woman and opposite, a woman look like a man? Will this happen to me? If I have to look like a dude, can I look like a hot dude? I’m not opposed to be being a total stud. You know, rolling knee-deep in bitches at the Pampered Chef party. I high-fived myself ya’ll.