Netflix B Movie Horror Lovefest

Howdy folks. I just got Netflix for the second time. I subscribed back in the day when all you could do was exchange movies via real mail (as in the postal service). I find this go round much more awesome being able to watch movies all willy nilly when I feel like it. Meaning, my love for bad horror knows no boundaries.  I like things on my terms. That’s why I only compete in things I am good at, I like to win. Truth.

I have taken the liberty to watch some movies and now review them. If there was ever a question in your mind what to watch, hopefully now, you will have a compass of sorts.

Okay, so far this week, I have watched the following movies:

Hellgate  (1989)

So, it seems that an evil motorcycle gang ride into town ready to do what they do best, mayhem. What bothered me about this gang was two guys shared a motorcycle. The fat one and the “funny” kinda crazy skinny guy. It’s been done before and those guys are kind of cliche’ in a bad guy group, and they are always BFFs. However, when a dude rides bitch, I can’t take him serious as a threat of any sorts. The setting is the 50’s and the chick they kidnap looks like she just left a jazzercise session with her walkman playing the latest Frankie Goes to Hollywood cassette. The gang kills her because, well, they’re evil and that’s all they know. Her father finds a crystal that brings her back to life. This crystal has cartoon electricity coming from it, so you know it’s magic and shit.

So, she comes back from the dead a total slut, trying to lure men to their demise with her mystifying dance of seduction and death. There are, of course, some teenagers. They travel to Hellgate because the guy that escaped his temptress just decided death would be more palatable than dating his girlfriend who dresses like Carmen San Diego. They do battle with the dead, who just love for everyone to be dead like them. Like some kind of peer pressure. On a side note, what street corner are kids giving free hits off their weed? D.A.R.E. had me believing that pot heads were rather generous, wanting everyone to get high, not taking no for an answer. No one randomly offers me pot. No one has randomly offered me death, not even the walking undead. I digress.

This movie is hilarious, there is even a part where someone beneath the camera actually shakes a “corpse” (decoration from Party City) at the actors…the worst attempt at puppetry to date. Fucking awesome. So, while you browse Netflix, go ahead and hit play. If anyone gives you grief give them a swollen lip.

The Baby (1972)

Just when I can’t get enough of the adult baby obsession, I happened upon this movie, that took my interest to a new, probably unhealthy, level. You tube did not have a clip, not a one, amazing, because You Tube has this diarrhea.

Okay, so this movie has a woman who forces her grown son to live like an infant. Why? I think because men hate her? Yeah, I don’t get it either. The sisters have some weird sexy incest stuff going on. This lends credence to my suspicion that women who like men that act like babies are mentally off. His sisters are crazy not like “Girl, you sooo crazzzzay!” Nope, more like, Bjork getting her picture taken crazy. Seriously, it was the flash, it set her off like a wild animal. Well, a social worker decides to save “the baby” from his evil mother. What happens? Murder. How can it get better? Well, since You Tube didn’t provide a clip, I posted the closest thing to what this grown man looks like acting like a baby.

Actually, I kind of wonder…if this was the inspiration. Either way, it’s got all the odd social behavior of a John Waters film that but it doesn’t make you feel as dirty when you get done watching. I love Waters, I really do, he’s filthy….and his mustache is creepy to the tenth power. So, check this movie out as well, and be ready for a slew of Freudian cluster fucks.

Well, happy watching ya’ll!

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15 responses to “Netflix B Movie Horror Lovefest

  1. I need to see all of these. Let me know if you find RABID GRANNIES. Epic.

  2. springfieldfem

    I watched “The Baby” a long time ago, half-asleep. I convinced myself it was a horrible, horrible dream…..not so.

  3. Never watched these movies but I’m definitely interested now. Have you seen the Avengers or Chronicle yet?

    • No hon, as you can tell I love really bad movies! ha ha! Are these movies good? Everyone is going nuts over the Avengers! I am waiting for the new Dark Knight it. looks. amazing.

      • I’ll be watching that since I heard it’s the last Batman movie. Chronicle is good because it almost seems real with the Paranormal Activity type of camera work. I’m actually going to see the Avengers 2moro, but preliminary results entail that is efffin Awesome!!!!

      • So how was Avengers?

      • Awesome. AWESOME. FUCKING AWESOME. It’s about 2hrs and 35mins mins, but the buildup to the movie was great. It’s action mixed with comedy your going to laugh a lot during the Iron Man scenes.

  4. Glad you’re having lots of bad horror Netflix fun, and I’m not at all surprised that you’re a John Waters fan – me too!

  5. B-Horror movies rock! Check out Alien Prey ….british to top that off!

  6. There’s nothing better then those 50’s B Sc9-Fi movies. The cheaper the better.

  7. I may have to check out Netflix. I knew they occasionally had some movies worth watching, but thought the online stuff was pretty limited. I did watch Human Centipede on there at a friends house. If you like disturbing…. On one hand it verges on being b-movie cheese. On the other, well, as the saying goes, some things can’t be unseen, though everyone I watched it with wishes they could. I am still looking for a copy of part two and people willing to watch it with.

    For lighter fare, I really like the movies that Full Moon produces.

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