I have a long commute. While I drive my mind usually is at liberty to wander. It does, it meanders through the deepest depths of my psyche, analyzing, reflecting and mentally debating which Sally Hansen nail polish strips to buy.
I am going to share some of my random thoughts that I typically have while I drive to work.
1. Traffic going the opposite way hits a really bad jam.
2. I pass that traffic jam and see opposite traffic that hasn’t hit the traffic jam I just passed, they are cruising along, unaware of the mess ahead.
3. Then it seems I run into this bullshit, now it’s not so funny.
4. In my mind, the cause of the traffic jam is something along the lines of this
5. The reality is that the cause for a one hour delay in my commute is this:
6. Curious George was the only pet monkey that didn’t want to rip your face off blinded by his own primal rage, destroying the town on a simian rampage. Moral: He’s not real, monkeys as pets? No way they’re less predictable than drunken dart throwing. (On a side note; when you google chimp attacks there are pictures of a guy drinking monkey pee, what the fuck is wrong with humans?)
7. How much do babies really understand?
8. I bet it sucked being the chubby one in Wilson Phillips, It reminds me of seventh grade lunch table all over again. I was envious of the girls who were rocking those skorts…I wanted a pair of shorts that looked like a shirt too.
9. How exactly are face donors picked out? It just seems like you would have to have a healthy viable organ for transplant. A face would likely have healthy skin so how are they picked? Convenience, age, level of attractiveness? It makes me look at some people and think, yeah, I’d have your face. This is not a discussion for friends though, you don’t want to be honest about whose face you would choose. Don’t commit to that decision it makes for hurt feelings.
10. Gawd, the Lost Boys made vampires look cool, not Twilight.
11. Sean Bean: King of Nerds, never really lives through a movie, but he does die like a BOSS. He never gets to play a modern character, ever.
12. I’m glad these assholes are deep, deep in the ocean
I suppose I’ll end, abruptly, as my thoughts do upon reaching my destination. Until next time. Expect me when you least expect me.