It Could Always Be Worse

If you have a Facebook account, and you probably do because even Amish Acres  is on board with social networking. You may notice some of your friends post some pretty negative status updates. For example: “I’m sad about everything, I bit the side of my mouth and it hurts… no one appreciates me.” I mean, that may not be verbatim, but pretty close. At this point I would like to add that I giggle when that one smart ass “likes” those kind of status updates. I usually ignore it and check out whatever article is posted or focus my hate on memes that are not funny.

I would like to take a moment to address the negative Nelly’s out there and say cheer up, things can and will at times, be worse. I have provided some examples of how I justify small frustrations in my life that do suck:

The amount of chocolate I ate today is absurd. Inconsolable shame…

I did not, however, do too much meth today.

My boob cleavage is sub par.

My butt cleavage is amazing

My gynecologist looks like this…

My gynecologist could be this…

I don’t really know what to write today

I’m still smarter than animals.

I only got a regular ol’ burger…sans cheese

My hair looks awesome…

I’m hormonal and bloated

It’s not spontaneous explosive diarrhea.

I have no idea where my money goes…

I didn’t spend it on this movie

Lowes employees STILL send me butthurt comments over a fairly old post…

Sorry that store is balls, and I stand by my original post statements.

So in conclusion, chillax, post some eCards, not everything is appropriate for Facebook. More importantly, being happy is an effort not an innate human right. Go hug on a loved one and enjoy all the good things, there’s an innumerable amount if you start counting.


29 responses to “It Could Always Be Worse

  1. All this and it’s raining outside!

    Damn I’m feeling low,



    But the thing I really hate is random, I’m at the shops posts. I don’t want to know. Or who you’re with for that matter.

    You hit a spot with this one.


  2. Horrible, especially the Elephant and Rhino! BAM! Kudos…;)

  3. Very clever! 🙂 And a needed break from personal my status update–broken-hearted: crazy biyotch/fiancee left me againn feeling it today like a shovel punch to the gut.
    I know: things will get better. Cheer up John there are plenty of other crazy ladies out there for you to meet!! Yeah!

  4. I enjoyed your FB status parody photos and captions. I must admit that my chest cleavage is almost nonexistent, to the point that I never wear a “Manssiere” or a “Bro”, but at least my butt cleavage is always covered, except for the one person who actually wants to see it, and in private showings only.

    How did you find that pic of the TP in a US Congressional restroom?

    Facebook and I have “issues” going back to 2006, so I never use it, and never miss it either. Mark Zuckerberg may be brilliant, but he’s also an arrogant, power tripping little twerp who is constantly trying out new ways to third party and spread FB users personal information all over the web.

    It’s because of him that the “Girl Finder” app became possible – a Russian creation that’s a sexual predator’s twisted dream come true, since it not only links users to women’s FB page and photos, but also uses a combination of iphone tech and GPS to find and track a woman’s real time location. Nice, huh?

    (takes deep breath, exhales…) Now restoring my smile and good natured humor. 🙂

    • wait…huh? That exists? Is this why girls get random friend requests from guys in other countries? Odd, I like facebook for the fact I reconnected with some very sorely missed people but that’s about it. It’s addictive though for nosey little girls like me who like to blog about dumb status updates :).

      • Well, first the good news: Apple Stores were selling this app, “Girls Around Me” (not Girl Finder – my mistake) for use with iphones until April 2nd, 2012, but discontinued it when a blogger exposed the app’s potential to be a tool used by rapists and stalkers, and the blogger’s post got national exposure in the US.

        The bad news is that the app was sold to thousands of users here in America for 7 months, these users still have it, and they can still use it. More bad news is that the company that created the software and sold it to Apple, is still selling it on the internet. When you open the the link, note the graphic design they used to promote it – then read the story.

        While I will admit that it isn’t accurate to blame Facebook alone for this tool of depravity, since there’s several guilty parties involved, I still know that “Girls Around Me” wouldn’t be anywhere near as dangerous as it really is, if the biggest online social network in the world, Facebook, didn’t habitually play it fast and loose with FB users personal information.

        Facebook also frequently changes it’s privacy policies. Not to make their users safer, but to make them more “available” by making it more confusing and harder for FB users to keep up with the changes, which usually involve an almost hidden and poorly explained action step that FB users need to make, to keep their personal info less vulnerable to unwanted exposure and criminal abuse.

        Sorry for being so long winded here with my reply, but this kind of shit really pisses me off.

  5. Two more details, and then I’m all done with this here, and my apologies if it feels like I hijacked your post, Sheena.

    1. Correction: The app has been disabled, so that people who bought it, can’t use it. But the app has the potential to be re-activated by people who know how to do it.

    2. If you want to read the full story about “Girls Around Me” here’s the link to the original blog post that exposed it: profiled the app on Friday afternoon

      • Wow, this is interesting for sure, and kudos to the blogger for the exposure. I generally feel that there is plenty of ways for someone to get my info and that is scary for sure but so is walking down the street….sigh there’s a lot of nuts out there huh?

      • Yep, just walking down the street can be dangerous too, and no doubt about it. And yeah, there’s a lot of nuts out there…

        Maybe that’s why I went nuts, when as the father of a 32 year old daughter, I found out about an app that could be used as an electronic tracking tool for the worst of the nuts out there, to prey on young women.

        But I’m still sorry that I went nuts here on your blog, Sheena, instead of taking a deep breath, calming down, and then writing a post about it on my own blog.

        You seem like you’ve got your street smarts, Sheena, and you know what’s going on. My daughter? She’s almost there where I think you are, but not there enough, and that worries me.

        Then there’s all the teens and early 20 somethings out there online who are clearly oblivious to the dangers of too much online self exposure, and although they aren’t my daughters, they are still the daughters of other mothers and fathers, who would be heartbroken if something terrible happened to them.

        Shit! I told myself that if I came back here for another reply, that I wasn’t going to do this again! But I did… so I’m sorry once again, and I guess this has to be my final reply on this post, and that’s a promise.

  6. Holy crap, I’d forgotten how funny your blog is! This made my life suck way less. I’m going to go post something happy on Facebook now.

  7. “…being happy is an effort not an innate human right.” Hear, hear. How true!!

    • I overheard a Micheal Savage rant and I don’t always agree with that man, but he’s right about some things for sure. He said we don’t have a right to happiness and we don’t “deserve” it…it really changed my perspective. Crazy where inspiration comes from at times huh?

  8. My friends on fb seem…..Awww fuck it !!! Great Post.

  9. Came for the positive message… stayed because butt cleavage.

  10. Great post.
    And you hit on a big point that is lost on at least one generation of Americans: there is no RIGHT to happiness. You are free to pursue happiness…so do it!

  11. Ha ha! Yeah, I get a little tired of the whiny stuff I read on Facebook. These people post stuff like, “i am not your part time friend,” or “why do i always have to be the responsible one” and intersperse those with platitudes on positivity and loving yourself.

  12. Thank you for the positive reinforcement.
    I shut down my fb a while ago, and have had no urge to go back.
    I wonder if their programmers used to work for Lowe’s…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s